Our New World
by Neflanthir
Summary: Fic from Yoh's perspective, set post-anime. Some valid OOC behaviour and some character bashing - Yoh's family, again . Eventual mild Hao/Yoh twincest.
1. Chapter 1

It's been a couple of years since I last wrote a Shaman King fic I think...well, here I am again. For those of you who don't know me (or have just forgotten) I never keep the twins the same as they are in the anime, because I don't think they'd still be the same after everything that happened. I also repeat myself a lot, but as Shaami realised in a discussion we were having, people do repeat themselves a lot when they think about things - and important points and ideas are meant to be repeated to make them stand out so my media course taught me oh so long ago.

As with Light Restored and Unity, the fic is set after the anime (ignoring the manga - especially Hana) and as well as being Hao/Yoh, it will undoubtably contain much character bashing.

The next chapter will probably be up in a couple of week. (Rating is because I have no idea what will be coming in future and purely because it will be twincest.)

Be nice and send lots of reviews? (It's my b'day 2moz - 18th, so it would be a nice present, lol.) Hope you all enjoy. Laters!

_

* * *

_

_It's only been a few months and I'm already sick of this. I'm not normally one to let things bother me, but this isn't exactly run-of-the-mill. I just don't know what I can do to change things though; I know they won't understand if I talk to them. They're all so happy with me and what I did and they keep on and on about it. I really wish they'd stop it. I don't regret my actions, I did what I had to, but that doesn't mean there isn't some guilt over what happened all the same. I should have been able to do more about it; I managed a better outcome with everyone else after all._

_I guess I just want to move on with things, rather than having a constant reminder of what happened. Now that I've had a chance to reflect on everything, I realise what an absolute hypocrite I was being. 'I won't hurt anyone, it's wrong', and then I go schizo on him and kill him, yeah, real friendly and forgiving Yoh, congratulations. I still can't figure out why Hao elicited a response like that from me, why he made me so angry, when I've always been so understanding with everyone else. It's so strange…_

_I can't help thinking about it, nor about what happened to him. He was so angry in the end, he lost himself completely. I feel sorry for him now that it's all over and I've actually stopped being so completely bias and thought about things logically. He was pushed so hard, let down continuously and was completely unable to hide from the truth. He lost himself and instead of them helping him, they pushed him further and further away and the anger and hatred they felt, all transferred to him, with him being empathic. Really it must have been horrible; I can't imagine knowing other people's thoughts and feelings, especially when they're derogatory towards you._

_I know for certain that I'm not angry with him anymore, I don't in the least agree with what he did, but I do understand how it came to that. I hope that Hao found peace this time, rather than the cycle starting all over again. I don't like the idea of being reborn all the time and having all those memories, thoughts and feelings. To have to live over and over with everyone hating and fearing you, it really doesn't sound like much fun. I don't envy him in the least, not that he'd much appreciate me pitying him either._

_In some ways, I kind of wish that I had the chance to talk to him, now that the tournament is over and everything has calmed down, but I can't help thinking it probably wouldn't be a good idea. I'm still afraid of him, not that I'm sure whether it's because I think he'd try to kill me, or because I think he'd want to. For some reason, the idea of him hating me bothers me. I know I don't like not getting along with anyone but this is different. Maybe it's because we're twins, because there's a bond there whether either of us ever realised or acknowledged it._

_I also sit wondering how much of what happened was real, whether it all was, or whether no one really got hurt at all. I don't really know how the latter could be possible but I guess it's my optimistic nature hoping for the best. I mean, we know that no one became Shaman King at least, so if that was a lie, how much else was too? I know a lot of people have died because of Hao, I just want to believe that some of those we saw die during the tournament are really okay somehow. I guess if that were true, it would mean that Hao would be okay as well though, wouldn't it?_

_I'm not really sure how I feel about that idea. If a miracle had occurred and he'd found himself again, and he didn't want my head on a stick, then I think I'd be kind of glad, otherwise, it really wouldn't be a good thing. I really don't want to have to fight him again, we're lucky that things worked out the first time; Hao is far stronger than I am. If it weren't for everyone calling me and then sharing their power with me, things would have turned out very differently._

_Sometimes I think they understand that and other times I think that they don't realise it at all. I don't know, I guess that everything just seems so very different now. I'm so unsure of so many things and I feel so very dissimilar to how I was before, I'm not sure what to think. So much happened, there was so much to take in and I couldn't at the time, but everyone expects me to be the same as I was before. How could they think that I would feel the same when I took someone's life? Even though no one will consider him as such, he was still my brother. How could it possibly not affect me?_

_I've continued to act the same as I always have, purely because they expect me to. It's hard to do any different when I don't really understand how this has affected me though. I'm not really sure what I want right now, so there's no point in creating any upheaval. Anna doesn't need an excuse to yell at me, even if she has been a little better since the tournament ended. She's always been a slave driver though; she must have been a very spoilt princess or queen in another life. Not that I'd ever dare say anything like that to her…_

_It isn't really so much that I'm afraid of her, because I know that I'm stronger than she is, but I know Anna will react badly. I hate fighting with people and I wouldn't want to hurt her, though I know she wouldn't think twice about hitting me, she never has. It's kind of sad that she doesn't realise that I'd be more willing to do what she wanted if she didn't go off on one all the time. I not saying let me get away with everything by any means; I know I need a kick to do things, just not literally._

_I really wish I could figure out what it is that's changed, what it is I want. I don't see things the way I did before and there are so many things I used to like that don't really interest me now. The most logical reason I can think of, is that this is because of my soul joining with Hao's and in turn I wonder if maybe, given a chance, it would have changed Hao too. If I've become a little more like him, then maybe he could have become a little more like me and he wouldn't be so angry and hateful anymore. I wish I could save him…_

"Yoh-dono?" Amidamaru asked quietly.

"Hai? O-genki desu ka?" Yoh replied smiling.

"Are you okay Yoh-dono? You're very quiet."

Yoh grinned. "I'm fine, I was just thinking. I really can think when I need to, as unbelievable as that might sound."

Amidamaru smiled and nodded. "Then I won't disturb you any further."

"Sorry I worried you. Aren't you meant to be meeting up with Mosuke and Bason?"

"Yes, I shall be leaving shortly. I expect to be some time, so I shall bid you good night now."

"O-yasumi nasai Amidamaru. Have a good time and say hello for me."

"I will. Good night Yoh-dono."

_Oops, I really didn't mean to worry him, though that being said, it doesn't always take much for him to worry, especially where I'm concerned. It's nice to have someone trying so hard to look out for me though. Still, if Anna and Amidamaru are both out for the evening, I should be able to train in peace without having someone either telling me off or questioning me. I know they all think I'm incapable of acting on my own initiative but I'm not and things just aren't the same as they were. I'm quite happy to get on and learn more about that, just in my own time._

_It's not that I'm trying to hide what I'm doing from them, I'm not, it's just…this is something that feels private, something that shouldn't be shared with everyone. I don't really understand why I feel that way but I do. It won't really hurt to learn it by myself when I'm in the mood to though and honestly it's far easier to do when I'm completely alone. Everything flows more easily when I want to learn and I have no distractions._

_I would never dream of admitting it but it also makes me feel closer to Hao and for whatever reason, it makes me feel content. That fact I'm definitely hiding from them, they'd be furious with me if they knew and I'm sure they'd worry a lot about it too. Hao frightens them and they hate him, they don't want me to have anything to do with him, let alone care about him. It's sad that all they can think about is his destruction, maybe if they'd tried a little harder to reach him…_

_I shouldn't be thinking about this, I know, it won't do me any favours. When I'm left to my own devices however, I do find my thoughts drifting to him, I can't help it. I don't know why I keep thinking about things I can't answer, or even why I feel the need to think about those things on such a regular basis. Why is this suddenly so important to me? It just doesn't make any sense; why do I feel so lost and alone without him when he's never been part of my life?_

Yoh sighed pushing his thoughts aside, he was meant to be practicing, not pondering something he had no way of solving. Focusing on his breathing, he relaxed himself and opened himself up to nature and the universe. It was easy to learn, providing he focused on what he was supposed to be doing. The path had been opened up through the Chou Senji Ryakketsu, now all he had to do was follow it. The way the world opened up and everything became understandable was astounding and most certainly worth the effort.

_It's strange how open everything is, how much a little understanding can change everything. I do understand Hao and how he felt about everything, unfortunately his claims are perfectly true, but that doesn't make what he did right. Yes people are destructive, yes nature and her other creatures are suffering because of humanity, but it doesn't give him the right to go around killing people, let alone simply because they won't follow him. It isn't true that all humans are bad, nor that humans and shamans can't be considered as the same. All shamans are human, whether Hao likes that idea or not._

_I wish it were possible to block the reishi, though I wonder how much of a difference that would really make now. The damage is already done and has been for a millennia, what hope is there that even if it was blocked he would be okay? It might make things a little easier for him, not having to hear and feel everything he does but it wouldn't change his opinion of people and it wouldn't take away his hate, anger or feelings of betrayal. It's such a shame that everything turned out the way it did; he could have been such a good person and done so much for everyone._

_Really I wish it were possible for all of them to let go of their hatred and persecution. The world would be a much better place if everyone learnt to get along and accept others, if there was no greed and ill-intent in the world. A world like that would be wonderful but it would never be possible when created through blood. Anything gained by fighting just breeds resentment, which leads to more fighting in the future. We all have to walk our own path, it's just unfortunate that there are so many selfish and hurtful people, those few with kind hearts are often used and hurt by others._

_Things do need to change, I know that, but it's easier said than done to walk the right path to achieve that, you can't force your beliefs on others, they have to accept things themselves. With so many people in the world, getting everyone to understand and agree is most likely impossible. Ideally I suppose, one would have to have an entirely separate world for those who understand and feel the same way, somewhere new to start again, without the tainted and bloody history of this world. Maybe it's impossible regardless, maybe humanity can't get past its sadomasochistic nature, but it's something to hope for all the same._

_A much better ideology for becoming Shaman King than my original idea of lying around doing nothing, though I'm not sure how true that wish ever was. Sure I like doing my own thing at my own pace but I couldn't just ignore that there are other people with needs that I could help with that power. I always do what I can for others, whether at my expense or not; I like people to be happy, I hate to see others suffering. I suppose that's selfish really, maybe there really is no such thing as a selfless deed; one performs such acts because it makes them feel better._

_I wonder if there is a way to change things for the better, if becoming Shaman King could give someone enough power to open people's eyes and make them understand how things really work and the consequences of their words and actions. I'm not sure that it would matter for some people, whether they knew or not…when did I become a pessimist? Since when have I ever believed that someone couldn't be reached? We can all understand each other, we just have to try and I didn't try hard enough with Hao, I wasn't ready to understand or listen back then but I am now._

Yoh sighed and stood up stretching, he looked at the clock knowing he'd been sat for some time but not knowing exactly how long. It was a usual routine for him to practice and learn new things and then get lost in thought. Everyone else would assume he was slacking off but he didn't really mind that, it was easier when no one expected anything. Like the situation with Hao, everyone was looking to him to take care of it and it made things very difficult. Yoh preferred just to be left to do things at his own pace with no expectations, even if everyone did think he was lazy because of it.

He headed up to the roof and laid under the stars, nowadays they always made him think of Hao. The other held them in such high regards so it was hard not to be reminded. He and Hao were born under the same stars and their destinies were tied together, as much as Yoh wished that wasn't the case. He didn't want to hurt anyone, yet their destiny gave them a fight to the death. Either he lost himself to Hao and a lot of people died, or Yoh killed Hao. Luckily for all those people, the latter occurred but Yoh couldn't help but wish there had been another option available.

_I wonder if any of that made a difference, if the tournament changed people's opinions and wishes. I know that meeting me made a difference for Ren and Jun; well I suppose the same goes for Faust, Manta and Ryu too. I'd like to hope that I made an impact of a lot of people but I'm not going to presume that it's the case. I can see for myself the difference I made in the lives of my friends but just because things may have changed for others during the tournament, it doesn't mean it was life altering like it was for my friends._

_I don't think anything has changed where Hao is concerned though, I'm quite sure that everyone hates and fears him as much as they did before. They don't seem to understand, or maybe they just didn't care that it only made things worse. He knew their thoughts and feelings and they were accentuated in him, the anger and hatred grew and grew and no one made any attempt to stop it, they only tried to stop him. I'm just as guilty as everyone else for ignoring the cause and making things worse. I doubt I'll ever understand the anger I felt towards him or the actions I took._

_I've been out here too long; time certainly passes quickly when I'm thinking about that taboo subject matter. Anna and Amidamaru will probably be back soon, so I ought to get myself sorted out and get into bed, I don't think my solemn mood would go down too well with either of them. The last thing I want to do is explain the reason for the mood I'm in, I think Anna would kill me, literally. Earth to Yoh, stop thinking, get moving, it's time you slept._


	2. Chapter 2

Well here I am again with the second chapter, once again, it'll be a fortnight before I post the next chapter.

I'm afraid for those of you who don't like the thinking or the use of romaji, it isn't going to go away, that's how I am IRL, so it reflects in my fics, besides which, I suck at description, so you're not really missing out on anything.

This chapter helps open up the way the fic is going to pan out (probably, I don't know myself), so hopefully you'll enjoy.

As always, reviews are very much appreciated. Laters!

* * *

He didn't recognise the field he was currently standing in and wondered where his head had chosen the creation from. He knew he was dreaming, though it wasn't a normal dream. He couldn't really explain why, it just felt different. Looking around he couldn't see any signs of life anywhere, aside from the flora. There was no fauna to be seen, not even insects by the flowers; there was no sign of habitation by anything. It was strange, though not unsettling, which such a thing would normally be. This felt more like a blank canvas, the beginnings of something, rather than it being because something was wrong.

Yoh whirled round; almost certain he heard a voice. It was quiet, distant but he had definitely heard something. Moving towards what he thought was the direction it had come from, Yoh kept listening for the noise to repeat itself. He would call out himself if it did, if he was sure it was another person. He had thought he was all alone here but if there was someone else, maybe they would know what this place was. Of course, it might be that they were as clueless as he was, that was how normal dreams usually worked anyway, either that or the person wouldn't tell him, he always had to work everything out for himself.

Hearing the voice again he knew there was someone else there, even though he still couldn't see anyone or any signs that anyone had been walking around. The person knew he was there though; it was his name being called. He recognised the voice and knew he should be able to identify the speaker, but he found himself unable to place a name, all he could say was that the person was male. It was someone he knew and he was rather annoyed with himself for not knowing who was calling him when he knew it should be reflex knowledge.

"Hello? Where are you?" Yoh called, though as soon as he had he knew he wasn't going to get an answer.

_I really don't know what to make of this. First the complete lack of people and animals and then someone I should know calling me. How I know he isn't going to respond I don't know either, but I'm positive it's the case. I should know him, so why can't I think who it is? It should be so easy, I know it, so why? None of it makes any sense at all. Part of me so strongly wants to keep looking for him, even though I know I won't be able to find him. What is this all about? Can't you just answer me and tell me what's going on and why you're calling me?_

"Please? I can't find you. Tell me where you are?" Yoh tried again, knowing it was pointless but suddenly feeling desperate.

_I'm waking up, aren't I? If that happens I'm not going to get any answers, that's why I'm panicking. Why am I so worried about not finding him though? I just don't understand this. I need to find him and talk to him but I can't and the opportunity is gone because this will be over any minute. I don't want it to be, I don't want to leave. I need to see him and we need to help this place grow, we can do it together; everything will be okay then, so why do I have to leave? Why do I know all these things when I know nothing at all?_

--

Yoh yawned and looked at the clock, according to it he'd over-slept but it didn't really feel like he'd slept very much at all. He felt shattered, emotionally and physically, not that he was sure why. He knew he'd been dreaming about something but he couldn't recall any details. Yoh got up and dressed quickly, knowing Anna would be angry with him, though he was surprised she'd left him to sleep. His mind never left his dream, trying to grasp the information that seemed to be just beyond his reach.

"So you are going to get up then?" Anna snapped when he entered the kitchen.

"Gomen ne Anna." Yoh replied, yawning again once he had.

Anna turned to face him poised to snap again but she closed her mouth again, studying him instead. "You look exhausted, are you alright?"

Yoh nodded, his attempt at a reassuring smile put off by another yawn. "I feel like I haven't really slept. I know I was dreaming but…"

"You don't remember anything at all about it?"

Yoh shook his head. "No I don-…calling, someone was calling me."

"Calling you? Who was? Where were you?"

"I don't know Anna, all I know is someone was calling my name. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't find whoever it was."

"Okay, well, if you remember any more, let me know. It could be important if it's left you so drained."

Yoh nodded, surprised to have gotten off so lightly. Brushing it aside he turned his attention to getting something to eat, though he felt like he was going to need a lot of caffeine to make it through the day. It was strange to feel like that; he was used to having an abundance of energy, even if granted a lot of the time he chose not to use it. He just hoped that Anna would take it easy on him since she'd seemed so concerned, he really didn't want to be put through one of her training sessions with the way he was feeling.

Of course, it didn't help that he was so distracted either, that was asking for trouble and now that he remembered that fragment of his dream he was even more so. Despite not even remembering what the voice sounded like, it was nagging at him that it was important, that he needed to find and speak to that person. Things didn't normally bother him but this was most definitely irritating. At least if his head gave him all the information he'd have a slightly better chance of figuring things out.

_Who was calling me, was it for attention, help, what? I don't know anything about it and yet it's driving me mad. How am I supposed to do anything about a stupid dream I can't even remember? It's absurd, utterly ridiculous. It was just a dream, so why do I feel like it's the most important thing in my life right now? I don't have any answers and I can't get any from thin air, so either let me remember the rest or leave me alone. Why does everything seem intent on making me constantly go around in circles with no hope of a resolution?_

Yoh sighed and tried to brush the thoughts aside, as if playing roundabout with thoughts of Hao wasn't bad enough, now he had some random dream doing the same thing. Something clicked into place at that point but Manta and Amidamaru entered the room at the same time and Yoh had no time to give it any consideration. Resisting the unusual urge to curse at the ironically bad timing, Yoh greeted his friends warmly, unsure whether or not he should be grateful for the distraction. A few minutes earlier he would have been, but now he knew he had figured something out but he couldn't work out what it was.

"You really do look tired you know? Maybe you should go back to bed Yoh-kun?" Manta asked worriedly.

"I think Anna would kill me if I tried." Yoh replied lightly. "Besides, I'm okay, don't worry, I'll just have to have caffeine and sugar all day"

Manta laughed in response and Amidamaru's mood seemed to lighten as well. Yoh grinned, trying to look a little less exhausted than he felt for his friends sakes; he didn't like to make them worry. He wished that he could follow Manta's suggestion though, curling back up in bed sounded like a very good idea. It didn't feel like he'd slept but there was something more to it as well, like his energy had been used up on something. Maybe Anna was right to be so concerned about it…

Yoh took a cup out of the cupboard, almost dropping it as he did, though his reflexes corrected it before either Amidamaru or Manta noticed. There was definitely something off with him; it was almost as though he didn't have the strength to hold the weight of it. Thankfully that had only lasted briefly but the fact that it was there at all was disconcerting, there was no way he should struggle to pick up a cup. He felt a hand on his back and turned to find Anna stood there.

"Go back to bed Yoh but you let me know if anything else strange happens, okay?" Anna said softly, sure to keep her voice low.

"Arigato Anna, I will. Hopefully I'll be fine once I sleep a little more." Yoh replied, before leaving the room. Normally Yoh would have said something to Manta and Amidamaru, but as Anna had made a point of keeping the conversation between the two of them, he decided against it.

_Now what was I thinking about earlier? Going round in circles, wasn't it? So what did I figure out? I was thinking about it being the same as the situation with Hao…oh. That was it; the voice calling me in that dream was his. Why would he have been calling me and more importantly, why would I have been so frantic about finding him? I don't know whether this has helped things or made them worse. Though if it's all connected to Hao, maybe there isn't anything to worry about, maybe it's all just me because I feel bad for not being able to do more._

_That doesn't really explain why I'm so drained though, does it. I never found Hao though, so I can't see that it has anything to do with him. That place was strange though, wasn't it? Now that I've figured out it was Hao with me, the rest of what happened seems to be coming back quite easily. So maybe it had something to do with where we were, I did think it was like a blank canvas for something to be created, could that have something to do with me being so weak now? Thinking too much Yoh, sleep, you need it._

"Yoh." The voice fluttered through his consciousness even before he appeared in the dreamscape.

"Hao…" Yoh muttered softly.

Looking around he confirmed that he was once again in field, this time however there was a prominent wooded area and the sound of insects and birds could be heard. He watched a butterfly as it drifted past him effortlessly on the light breeze. Things were progressing, being placed together and he wondered now if that was Hao's doing. Though that would mean that Hao was somehow able to use Yoh's power as well, which he wasn't really sure was possible. So maybe he had unwittingly agreed to create this world?

He still couldn't feel the other's presence, just the occasional whisper of his unmistakable (though apparently not necessarily identifiable) voice. He sounded like he was somewhere far away, though as he wasn't shouting, he couldn't be too far away either, or his voice wouldn't reach Yoh. All of that was of course based on the normal world he was used to, there was nothing to say that this place worked the same way. He wasn't really sure that Hao was there at all; he couldn't see or feel him after all. Sighing softly, Yoh decided to take a look around the area, hoping that he might find some answers along the way.

_I wonder if Hao is around in some way, if he knows what's going on here and what this place is. Alternatively, if everything else here really is of my own making, maybe Hao is as well. It would explain why I can't sense him or find any trace of him. For some reason that idea makes me sad... Maybe it's because he doesn't sound angry or hateful and I wish that it was true, that there was any possibility that Hao could accept what happened and why I had to do it. I so very much feel the need to obtain his forgiveness, even if I probably shouldn't._

_He'd probably like it here, assuming the sun ever goes down for him to see the stars of course. There are no other people, there is no bloody history, no old scars trying to heal, just nature and peace and tranquillity. A new world without the marring of our own, that would be a better place for your ideal of a world for shaman, don't you think? I wish we could do that, I wish there was a way to give you what you need without blood being spilt. Don't you understand you could never achieve your dream with the methods you were using? You'd become what you hated Hao, even if you couldn't see that._

_I'm not afraid to be here anymore, well, I mean, I'm not worried that something bad is going to happen or that this is hurting me. I understand that this place is using a lot of my strength but that's okay, it's for a good cause. The creation of a new world, where people could live in harmony with nature and each other sounds wonderful and with something like that, Hao wouldn't have to be lost in those thoughts and feelings anymore. Everything would finally work out for the best._

_That goal is something I would gladly give my all for, a worthy dream for someone trying to become the Shaman King. Just watch and wait Hao, I'll make this place beautiful, I'll finally do something to make you proud. I'll create our new world, your will and mine coming together is a compromise, somewhere we can finally be happy, walking our own path of our own making, no one will push our hand anymore. Daijobu datte, nantoka naru._


	3. Chapter 3

_It's hard to believe that it's already been a month since this all started. I'm getting better at controlling everything, both with what I want to create and at what speed it happens, so I'm not exhausting myself anymore. Anna seems to have given up on questioning me about it, for the time being at least. I don't really like lying to her, and though I don't know what it is or why it happened, I do remember my first dream now and everything I've done there since. I told her that I'd tell her if I remembered anything and as well as going back on that, I've continued to tell her I don't remember even though I do._

_I'm not even sure why I'm lying about this and keeping it all a secret. I know it would cause problems where Hao is concerned but there's more to it than that, it's almost as if I'm protecting that place, as if telling someone it exists will taint it. I don't really understand myself or my reasoning for things anymore. Sometimes I feel that telling the truth would be like breaking a sacred rule or something. It's all just potential excuses for my actions though, some part of me wants to keep this hidden from everyone, just while it's being created and I feel inclined to do so, even if I don't understand why._

_Doing this has helped improve my shaman abilities as well; I've learnt a lot and become much stronger. I've also drifted into areas I don't think Hao ever did but there are aspects I am most definitely interested in learning. If I really could find a way of blocking the reishi through this then it is more than worth any effort required. Any chance to make things better, any chance of preventing another repeat performance; I have to do everything in my power to achieve._

Yoh watched Ren chasing Horo-Horo and wondered what had happened this time to set them off. Horo did seem to love teasing Ren and generally getting his back up, they always fought, though it was rarely ever serious. That was probably a good thing for Horo, for all the skill he had, Yoh wasn't particularly convinced that he would stand a chance against a genuinely angry Ren. Just because the Tao behaved for the most part now, didn't mean that it would stay that way and Yoh knew all too well what Ren was like when he was angry and not holding anything back.

He sighed softly, turning his attention away from his friends. If he acted like he usually did and laid on the grass, eyes closed, they would just presume he was sleeping and leave him alone. That would allow him to either think things through, or really go to sleep and go back to tending his little creation. That was all he really had any interest in of late, helping that place grow, well, that and teaching himself new techniques in the hope he could learn the one thing he really needed to know.

_They'd all be horrified if they knew Hao took up so much of my thoughts and effort. They wouldn't care for me trying to help make things better; they'd just want me to find a way to kill him once and for all. How they could expect me to do something like that though? It isn't really fair that they'd put something like that on me, how could anyone decide that someone should have to kill someone else? I'll grant that I never knew Hao, so there have never been any memories or emotional ties there, but he's my twin and regardless of that, I've never wanted to hurt, let alone kill anyone._

_I just want everyone to get along, that way everyone would get to be happy, because no one would be fighting or hurting each other. Even with the reishi, Hao would be able to live in a world like that. I know that was what he wanted, peace and harmony without all the pettiness of humanity. I can understand the dream and his need for such a world, it's just a shame he couldn't see that he was really no different from them._

_Lashing out through hatred and anger, hurting indiscriminately because of petty reasons, he had become what he hated. It is the way it works; time and time again I come to the same conclusion, those who fall prey to hatred invariably become what they hate. I try not to consider the same for the rest of my family, though I know I do think about it and I can see the same in them. Reason and compassion just seems to go out of the window, callous and completely bias determination comes in to play instead._

_I understand why this has all come to be how it has, I understand the reasons for Hao, the Asakura family and all those who have had bereavements because of Hao. All the understanding in the universe isn't going to make any of their actions right however and they're all guilty of taking the same actions they hated others for, it's not just Hao. We need to get past these things, acknowledge the reason for it and take some positive actions to change things and make them better, rather than adding to the problem. I know I'm just as guilty as everyone else but I'm trying to make amends for that now._

_It's hard to know what's right, the world isn't black and white and what's good for one person is bad for someone else. You have to try to encompass the ideology of the masses but surely it's arrogant to presume that you can decide what's right for everyone based on your assumptions? How can you decide or interpret the will of millions? Hmm…I think they'd die of shock if they knew I used such big words, they probably don't think I know or understand them. I'm not stupid, honest, I do have a good head on my shoulders, I just don't necessarily use it._

"Yoh." Ren stated bluntly, expecting rather than asking for acknowledgement.

"Hai?" Yoh asked sleepily, opening one eye to look at the teen while the other remained closed under his arm.

"I want a fight, now."

"What? Why?"

"You're the only one worth fighting and too bad if you thought I'd let you sleep all afternoon."

Yoh pouted but accepted Ren's offered hand to help him stand up. He really wasn't in the mood to fight anyone, even if it was only a friendly sparring session. He didn't know whether his newly learnt skills would be obvious either, the last thing he wanted was a million questions about how he'd improved so drastically. Still, he knew Ren too well to think that the boy would be deterred, whether he liked it or not, he would be partaking in this match.

It wouldn't really surprise him if Ren wanted to spar with him purely because he thought Yoh had improved and wanted to test the theory. Ren was unfortunately rather good at doing things like that, much to Yoh's despair. Since Ren had learnt that Yoh was far more observant than anyone had ever thought to give him credit for, Ren had striven to be the same. In times like these, Yoh rather regretted that Ren had ever become so good at it, and at reading him.

_It isn't even as though I could just lose the match or something, he'd be very hurt and insulted if I didn't put any effort in or lost deliberately. It's a real shame that he has to take these things so seriously. I really, really don't want to do this, why does Ren have to randomly want to fight me? Can't he tell I'm not in the mood to do anything of the sort? That being said, Ren isn't really the type of person to care and as I'm known for skiving, he's probably quite happy to push me._

"Do I really have to? I don't want to…" Yoh pout was as clear in his voice as it was on his face.

"Yes you do, I'm not taking no for an answer and I won't let you hold back on me." Ren snapped back.

Yoh sighed, drawing Harusame. "Yeah, I figured as much. Don't expect any enthusiasm from me though."

Ren snorted and flicked out his Kwan Dao, apparently opting for a wider range. It was clear Ren was serious about this match and Yoh had to question whether Ren really had figured something out. It wasn't as if he'd given anyone much of anything to go on, but Ren certainly seemed to know that something was different. This fight was going to be intense, Ren was not going to hold anything back and if Yoh didn't use his new skills it would probably be a push to win it.

_Ren may not have as much furyoku as me but he's determined to win, whereas I don't want to participate, so the amount of effort and attention he's going to put in will be a lot more than I will. Maybe that's the idea, that way the chance of me using anything newly learnt will be increased. Or maybe I'm paranoid and/or have a guilty conscience for hiding things from them. Though that being said, it was a little weird for Ren to suggest us all meeting up…_

Yoh sighed again, knocking himself out of his internal musings to concentrate enough on the match to stop Ren from taking his head off. It was clear that he had put a lot of time and effort into training himself. That of course could be the simple answer, Ren had improved and wanted to test just how much, if he could beat Yoh, the others needed to be there to believe it and if he couldn't, he could always beat the others. Yoh relaxed a little, deciding he was definitely getting paranoid.

Dodging again, Yoh kept on the defensive. Ren had learnt a few new tricks and had altered his fighting style somewhat; Yoh would have to watch him for a while before he would know that safest way to win the match. Ren wasn't the only one to have grown up, and he had learnt the hard way not to rush in blindly and keep trying the same tactic. It would surprise them no doubt, but they would have to learn eventually that he had matured a lot after the events of the tournament, even if he did generally still act the same way as before.

Everything of late came across as being problematic, nothing was simple and easy-going, there were always potentially highly unpleasant consequences involved. It was a pain to have to think everything through so thoroughly, rather than just getting on care-free. Still, he was the one to have chosen to keep so many secrets, so he couldn't really complain when one or all of them came back to bite him. Not that he thought he could win either way, Anna and his family would be angry with him regardless.

_Telling the truth from the off-set would have meant things wouldn't blow up so much, since people don't like things being kept from them, but I don't think it would have been the right thing for me to do. I needed to get on and do this and if they knew, I'm sure they wouldn't allow it. I don't have any doubts that they would be far from pleased with me, whether they knew from the beginning or not. Yes if they find out they'll be furious and even more so because I didn't tell them but it's the path I needed to take, it's the right thing to do, even if that wouldn't be understood. I don't regret my choices, no matter what consequences may come._

_Okay, I think I'm starting to see a pattern here, while he's leaving me an opening, I'm pretty sure it's a trap. I can however see another way of ending the match without too much difficulty or risk of injury. It's nothing I wouldn't have been capable of before, the only difference they will have seen is with taking my time and studying things rather than rushing in head first. That shouldn't cause me too much bother, since they do already know I can be very observant when I need to be._

_Right, three, two, one, go. Over Soul broken, Ren disarmed, perfect. There are a few surprised looks, though none from Ren. Anna looks mildly annoyed, though for what reason is anyone's guess, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the amount of time it took me to win. There isn't a major reaction though, so hopefully I'm safe for the time being. Most of the shock probably consists of 'omigod, Yoh knows how to use his brain', or am I being a little too harsh with that? Though who am I being mean to, them or myself?_

"While I did expect a calmer approach, I can't say that I expected you to play it that way. Maybe you've grown even more than I thought…though you're still a slacker. You'd be dangerous if you put that head of yours to better use." Ren stated.

Yoh smiled. "I don't want to be dangerous though. Being care-free and friends with everyone sounds like a much better approach to me. Nature doesn't rush around and stress out; it does what it wants at its own speed, why should I have to be any different?"

Ren shook his head mirthfully. "Is that your excuse? Well, I guess it wouldn't be you if you were serious all the time. Thanks for the match Yoh."

Yoh grinned. "No problem."

Chatter resumed and Yoh returned to lying on the grass. While he hadn't wanted to fight, Ren had gained something from it and that made it worth the effort. Things were still relatively normal and Ren had accepted the changes he saw in Yoh without question. While there was a lot the Tao didn't know, it did give Yoh the hope that at least one of them would be willing to listen to him and accept things when the truth did eventually come out.

There would be no mention of Hao at that time of course, well, not unless the other was magically still alive and came back to him in a calm and sane manner. If it were possible to reconcile with his brother then things would have to be different, he would have to tell the truth about some aspects. There would definitely still be things he would decline to tell them even then. Not that he they would accept him having anything to do with Hao either way. Yoh shook his head, deciding that was more than enough thinking about those topics, chilling out for the rest of the day sounded like a much better plan.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello, back again. Nothing to say aside from thanks to those who have reviewed and see you again in a fortnight. Now I'm going to curl up and sleep, lol. Laters.

* * *

Yoh looked over everything within his field of vision, things were progressing nicely now. As well as his field, which was now more flowers than grass and his woodland, he now had a lake. He had been working more on giving life to the place rather than expanding it recently however, adding fauna to the already flourishing flora. It was beautiful and peaceful, everything felt warm and safe. He loved being there and when morning came around and he had to wake up, he always felt very reluctant to leave.

Something felt different tonight however, though he had yet to figure out what that was yet. It felt like there was another presence there, one that he was sure he hadn't created but he wasn't sure who or what said presence was. It was always that way when he first arrived, it took a while before his abilities (and his head in general) started working properly.

Sighing softly, Yoh decided to ignore it for the time being and headed to the lake. It was night for a change and the stars and full moon were glowing brightly overhead. It was beautiful already, but the night sky always seemed to be that bit more incredible when a body of water was involved.

As Yoh neared the lake he was surprised to see the silhouette of a person sat by it, seconds later it hit him what the presence was he felt since his arrival – Hao was there with him. He didn't feel anything threatening, not that it necessarily meant much where Hao was concerned. He had always come across as being calm even when he was ending someone's life, up until their final fight at least.

Building up as much resolve as he could, Yoh made his way towards Hao. He was definitely nervous about speaking to the other, as much as he felt the need to try and resolve things. Once again he was questioning what exactly it was that worried him, though he was more certain now that it was how his twin would react to him, rather than any action Hao might take against him.

Hao turned to face him once he was only a few feet away. "Hello Yoh."

Yoh studied Hao briefly, relieved that he didn't seem to be angry with him. "Hi."

Hao motioned for Yoh to take a seat beside him, which Yoh accepted without hesitation. Things seemed to be different with Hao, though it was entirely possible that none of this was real and it was purely Yoh's mind giving him what he wanted. Hao smiled and shook his head, and Yoh didn't doubt that the other knew the thoughts flitting through his head.

"I have no more idea than you how all of this has come to pass, but it is all very real. This place and my being here, none of it is a dream or a fabrication of your mind."

"You're okay? You're not mad?"

"No, I'm not angry. I know you did what you felt was right and I know you've been hurting over it despite that. It's okay now, I've found myself again."

Yoh smiled softly, he couldn't remember anything making him feel so happy and relieved before. "I'm glad Hao, I really am. Thank you for this."

"Yoh, you're trying to find a way to block the reishi, aren't you? Let me know if you do manage it. I can't stay here any longer right now but I'll come again if you'd like?"

"I am and I will and yes, I'd very much like a chance for us to talk properly."

Hao nodded, standing up. "Then I'll see you again soon. Take care Yoh, and thank you."

Yoh nodded, turning his attention to the lake instead, he didn't want to watch Hao leave. He knew Hao was telling the truth, that this was real and that he would come back, but it had been nice to see him and to hear those words said and he didn't want to let go of it so quickly.

He was a little disappointed that Hao didn't know anything but he was sure that the other was most definitely looking into the matter. Hao would have a much better idea of where to look, while Yoh was completely clueless as to where he could even start, though honestly he was more interested in what he could do, rather than how it happened.

He felt safe and content and it felt right in helping everything grow; that was good enough for him. The fact that he had the chance to speak to Hao and hear the words he needed to was a major bonus. It was true that from the beginning he had heard Hao calling but he didn't ever presume that he would be able to speak with him; the voice he had heard didn't herald the presence that Hao had, it was never real.

Yoh lay back on the grass looking up at the starlit sky. He wasn't sure what to do next, both with proceeding here and in his normal life. Seeing Hao had changed things but he wasn't sure how much, though he certainly didn't want to hear anymore congratulations for killing Hao. He'd hated them before but now he disliked the idea even more.

Sighing softly the brunette decided he really ought to continue what he had started. As much as he didn't like fighting and killing, he did understand the importance of a natural balance, so he had to be sure to set up a proper ecosystem, rather than just leaving it as all herbivores.

It was very tempting not to have any carnivores but he knew better, the cycle existed to maintain an equal balance; otherwise there was prolonged suffering and over-population, something humanity chose to ignore. They had no predators to protect themselves from, and to which the old and the weak would be picked off. Medical science and technology served to prolong lifespan even further; it all went against nature's plan.

The excuse had always been that humanity was higher than the animal kingdom because humanity was a sentient life form, but it was questionable whether sentience was really beneficial. How it could be considered that the inability to live alongside nature and its other creatures, let alone destroying the aforementioned was a good thing, was completely nonsensical.

That wasn't to say that he disagreed with everything, he could understand the reasons and he wasn't any different in that he didn't want to lose anyone important to him. It wasn't the same for shamans, they knew there was an after, but he still wanted his family and friends around him for as long as possible and not as ghosts. There was so much that he and Amidamaru couldn't do that he and Manta could. Yes he was always there but it wasn't the same as having someone of flesh and blood around.

_Well, hopefully that will be good enough and a balanced ecosystem will form. I don't know enough about them to plan out every little detail, so hopefully the intent will suffice. I don't think I could find out what and how many would be needed for everything to work, nature is best left to do that job._

_I'm so glad I got to see Hao and that everything is okay, though part of me still can't believe it happened. I feel so much lighter and happier now, more like myself before the tournament. I don't regret the maturity I have now though, as unpleasant as some of the experiences were, I'm glad for the knowledge and understanding I have now._

_If Hao is right and this place is real, that hopefully means I'll be able to come here properly, rather than just while I sleep. It would be nice to live here all the time, I hate having to wake up and leave this place. Hao seemed to like it here too, I thought he would but it was nice to have the confirmation. I'd like for us to become closer, it's no fun fighting him._

The tug of the waking world was felt and Yoh's bright smile dimmed somewhat. His time always felt so short, even more so tonight. It didn't feel like he'd been there for even half an hour yet it was already morning. Still, he had started the next process, and he had met Hao and made amends, so the time as short as it seemed had been well spent. Besides, he had to leave for Hao to visit him again, a thought that easily bought the smile back to his face.

He was only half surprised to see Ren sat beside him when he woke, having already felt his presence there. Ren was the only one in the room, the others were absent, whether that was by their own choice on Ren's, Yoh couldn't say, though it was clear the Tao wanted to talk to him without the others being present.

Yoh sat up, studying the other teen. For once all pretences were dropped and not just for Ren, Yoh equally hadn't bothered with any of his usual (expected) responses. Ren studied Yoh as well, though he clearly wasn't surprised by Yoh's lack of façade. Eventually the purple-haired teen nodded and walked to the window. Yoh sat still, waiting for the other to speak his mind.

"A lot has changed, hasn't it? I'm not surprised really, given everything that happened. I appreciate you've been keeping a lot of things to yourself, presumably with good reason, but I'm going to ask anyway. What were you doing while you were sleeping?"

Yoh deliberated the question and whether or not to tell the truth. "I can't really explain because I'm not sure what it is myself, but I've been tending to a world, helping it grow."

"A world? Somewhere else entirely? You think it's more than just your imagination? Though I suppose if that has something to do with the changes we felt, then maybe it really is true…"

"What changes and who is 'we'?"

"Jun and I, we've been studying a few new things, some of which link very closely with nature and the cosmos. As you can't explain your world or how it came to be, nor can I explain what we've felt. Massive changes in the cosmos, almost like the birth of something new, so maybe it's this world you're creating."

"I see. Maybe that's the case, if it is, then maybe one day I'll get to go there for real, ne?"

"Maybe. There's something more than that though isn't there? Something else has happened?"

Yoh cringed on reflex, knowing exactly what Ren meant. "Promise not to yell or make a big fuss?"

Ren frowned but nodded his acceptance of the terms. "Very well, I shall endeavour to control my reaction."

"Hao came to speak to me. He couldn't stay very long, but I heard what I needed to."

Ren had bitten his lip when Yoh had mentioned Hao, in order that he didn't react exactly how Yoh had predicted, but the initial reaction dimmed over Yoh's second sentence. He had thought that Yoh had been harbouring guilt over what happened, so if Hao really had taken that away, their meeting wasn't a negative occurrence.

"I see, so you're feeling better about all that now? What did he say to you?"

"Not a lot, just that he's okay now and he isn't mad with me."

"Nothing more?"

"He said that both he and that place were real, not constructs and that we'd speak another time if I wanted."

"I won't comment on the later, but you're still leaving something out."

Yoh grinned slightly, Ren really could read him far too well, but at least he was being very mature about the whole thing. "I've been 'playing' in a lot of new areas, trying to find a way to block Hao's reishi. He asked me if I'd teach him if I found a way, which I of course agreed to, since that's why I'm trying to learn it."

"Which you can't tell anyone about because they'd react badly…okay, I understand and I'll support you if you need me to. Thank you for telling me the truth about everything."

"We both know each other well enough to know what it's okay to say or not, right? You've trusted me with things so it's only fair. Besides, given your reaction to our match yesterday, I was pretty sure you'd be okay with all of this."

"You'd better get up, I'll see you outside."

Yoh nodded and watched Ren leave the room. He felt much better having spoken to someone about everything – though only because Ren's response hadn't been derogatory. He knew the information wouldn't go any further than Jun and that she was just as accepting and trusting of him as her brother.

Ren's words encouraged the belief that things had most certainly changed and were continuing to do so. To what end it was too early to tell but so far everything seemed to be a positive step forward. He could achieve their dreams; he just had to keeping working at it. They would have a beautiful new world to live in and Hao would be free of the binds of empathy.

Yoh's smile returned, even as he brushed his thoughts aside. Today looked set to be a good one, things were finally fitting into place and now he was no longer alone in this. He had people he could talk to and confide it and that took a lot of weight off his shoulders, on top of what Hao's words had already removed. His signature phrase and view of life came to mind and he was once again reminded how true it was.

Nantoka naru.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it's a day late (Shaami at least I know will be spitting feathers for the delay). Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Cringable was really the only word to describe it, even if that was probably a made up word rather than a real one. The fact that Horohoro had suggested it in the first place was bad enough but that Anna had actually agreed to it? There was absolutely no way that he was going to get involved in something like that. Yes he was laid-back and easy going, but that was well beyond any realm he was happy to play in. He needed a fool-proof excuse to get out of the situation and he needed one fast.

"That's really too bad, but Yoh and I aren't going to be able to make it to you repugnant idea of a gathering." Ren stated tetchily, much to Yoh's surprise and relief.

"Really?" Anna snapped. "And why is that exactly?"

"Because we'll be in China. We have an appointment with a sage, it's a once in a life time experience."

"Then we can come to yours and have the party there." Horohoro stated.

Ren growled. "I never said we were going to mine, though either way you idiots aren't welcome there. It's a private affair which is not going to be ruined by a bunch of ingrates. Have your party on the mouth of an active volcano and fall into it, do the world a favour. Other places to be or not, neither of us has any will to be involved in such idiosyncratic foolishness."

Yoh cringed slightly at Ren's comment but said nothing. Yes he thought Ren was being a little too harsh (not that that was unusual), but he couldn't disagree with what was said. He really didn't want anything to do with it and if Ren had found something out, or really had found someone who might be able to help...

As more snarky comments hailed forth, Ren grabbed Yoh by the arm and dragged him outside. Once again Yoh heralded no resistance; it was far too late to be arguing, especially over something so stupid. He didn't care what Anna threatened him with, he was absolutely under no circumstances going to do it. His pride might not be an encumbrance like Ren's but he did still have his pride and that definitely went against it.

"Idiots..." Ren muttered and Yoh found himself nodding in agreement before he realised what he was doing and stopped.

"I can't believe either of them, though I guess it's embarrassing for us rather than her, so maybe that was the point, to enjoy humiliating us..." Yoh stated quietly, not really sure that he should be making such a comment.

"Wouldn't surprise me...sadistic bitch."

Yoh bit his tongue to stop himself responding, he didn't really want to get into an argument with Ren, least of all when he had just been rescued from an unpleasant fate by the boy. "So, were you serious, or were you making it up?"

"We are going to China, though to speak to Jun. Whether we speak to anyone else who may or may not have more knowledge of certain events depends on how lucky Jun has been."

Yoh nodded his acknowledgement but didn't comment any further on the matter. Right now he was more concerned over what they were supposed to do at present. He wanted to curl up for the night but he wasn't overly convinced they could go back without world war three starting. Of course, Anna would have his head if he didn't go back anyway, it was usually a lose-lose situation where she was concerned.

Ren had left them for a few hours earlier in the day, claiming their childish behaviour was unbecoming but he had never given it a thought that the other was leaving to look into what they had discussed that morning. That was probably an over-sight on his part, since Ren normally put up with anything that Yoh would. Regardless of how much things annoyed him, Ren always stood by Yoh.

It was nice to have someone you knew you could count on; especially when said person was quite happy to rescue you from something you didn't want to do but were worried about upsetting people by saying so. Ren had a habit of being far too blunt and harshly spoken but everyone expected that from him, so it was never really taken particularly offensively.

"It all seems so strange now…" Yoh murmured softly, barely aware that he'd spoken.

"What does?" Ren asked.

"Hm? Oh, nothing in particular, life in general, past and present."

"I suppose a lot has changed and a lot is going on. Everything is okay though, right?"

"Yeah, right now, everything is just fine. There will be problems when the time comes, but I'll worry about that then. For now, I just want to enjoy this."

Ren nodded and turned his attention back to the path they were walking along. It was nice and peaceful, away from the buzzing city. It wasn't far enough away from the lights to stop any toning down of the night sky, but the view of the stars wasn't completely obliterated by the large neon lights. That was the problem with city life, one lost touch with nature, both its power and beauty.

Yoh yawned, it was late and he had used a lot of energy playing around and being 'trained' all day. He was tired, but more than that he had other things he wanted to be doing. It was always exciting to see the new changes that had occurred over the day, though of course, now there was the wonder of whether Hao would be waiting for him as well.

He didn't really want to get too excited by the prospect, since Hao hadn't specified when he would visit again but he couldn't help hoping that his brother wouldn't keep him waiting for too long. It was strange to want to see him after everything that had happed but a connection had definitely formed, for him at least.

"Thinking about someone you shouldn't be?" Ren asked softly.

Yoh glanced over, noting the soft yet amused expression on Ren's face. "Might be I guess."

Ren cocked an eyebrow at the reply and shook his head. "I suppose we should head back, it's getting late so if we're lucky the idiots may have gone to bed already."

Yoh nodded, quite happy to follow that idea. Sleeping was definitely something he wanted to do, losing a chance to go to his world was not an idea he relished. He knew Ren wasn't really sure what to think about his obvious enthusiasm for going and staying there, without Hao being involved in it as well, but so far he had chosen to trust Yoh's judgement.

He supposed it was probably unsettling to see all the changes in him, to see everything without any masks in place. He knew in himself that things were different, so it must be difficult for someone else to see, especially without the understanding as to why thing were different or if it was really safe to be tied into such things so strongly.

Hao was a concern to them and after everything they had been through, they had every right to see him as such, so he couldn't really blame Ren for being worried. Yoh didn't know himself why he felt so strongly about being close to Hao, why he needed to talk to him so badly and form a better relationship between them, so he could hardly explain to Ren, let alone appease his disquiet.

He had grown too quickly to understand everything that had happened along the way, but he knew that things had changed and that he could help Hao and that was good enough. The chance to put a stop to the never-ending cycle of pain was enough to be enthusiastic about. Yes he knew he probably shouldn't think about Hao as much as he did, but even if no one else could understand, they were always bound to be important to each other.

_It always felt like there was something missing when I was growing up, which I guess is probably part of the reason I tried so hard to be friends with everyone. I didn't want to feel lonely and if I was surrounded by people I couldn't be. That wasn't true though, there was always that feeling there and I never understood why._

_When I joined with Hao that feeling dissipated and I finally understood that the hole I had always felt was because I was missing a part of myself. I don't mean that I think he and I are meant to be the same, I don't believe that, but it made me appreciate that the only way I would feel whole was if Hao was part of my life._

_Of course, the choice I had to make was that the longing was to remain with me for the rest of my life because I had to stop Hao. If we've both been given a second chance, a chance to make amends and learn to understand each other, why shouldn't I be ecstatic? This is something I've always longed for._

Yoh received a reproachful glance from Anna when they walked in but he was otherwise ignored. Ren left his side immediately and headed through the downstairs of the onsen. Yoh sighed and headed upstairs but instead of going to the shared room, he entered a much smaller, relatively unused room. He wanted some privacy tonight and had every intention of forgoing usual 'bedtime rituals' in favour of crashing immediately.

He knew that it would raise questions, since he was usually so sociable but he was relatively sure he could blag his way through, after all everyone, no matter who they were, felt the need to be alone sometimes. Either way, he would just have to deal with it, especially given there was probably a lot more of it to come.

He had a lot of training to do as well, which had been harder to fit in over the last week. It didn't really help that ideally he needed to do it alone during the daytime, since that made it rather more difficult to do. If he did it at night when everyone was sleeping though, he missed out on sleep and tending to other matters.

He had to make the time for it though, no matter what. He had to find a way to block the reishi and teach it to Hao, as he had promised. That was the only way to help Hao and keep him as he had seen him in there; otherwise he would just end up being ruled by hatred again. That was the last thing Yoh wanted, so he had to make sure it didn't happen.

_I suppose it wouldn't hurt to do a little training now, I am tired but equally I'm a little too hyped to just fall straight to sleep. Learning a little more of that means I have to relax completely, so it should help me drift off more easily. I mustn't lose track though, I can't spend hours on this, not at this time of night._

Yoh closed his eyes and relaxed, feeling the natural energy around him, going higher he reached out to cosmos and the celestial knowledge it contained. The stars held far more knowledge and experience than any earthly energy, it encompassed everything within it. Using a simple metaphor, cosmic energy to the various earthly energies was like looking in one giant library, rather than several small ones.

The pathway slowly appeared in his mind as it usually did, the whole process was always at a relaxed pace. That suited Yoh perfectly of course; he didn't like to rush things, so it was nice that the natural forces seemed to agree with him. Not that it helped so much when it made you used to doing things at your own pace when Anna wanted things done 'yesterday'.

Walking to the junction, Yoh chose one of the many paths to follow. He wasn't sure how he knew which ones he had already done, but he always seemed to end up on a new one, unless he specifically wanted to go back to a previous one. It was always a surprise to see what would happen and what he would learn, though in some ways he wished that he could just choose.

It was possible that he could and he had to learn so much before he could learn what he wanted to of course. Thinking of it that way made things easier, if he was sure that he would learn it once he understood enough, then it was okay to wait a while longer. As long as everything worked out the way it needed to, he could wait.

Yoh smiled and continued along his chosen path, motivation heightened once again. He did have to make a mental note to keep track of time, rather than going from start to finish as he usually did. It was just so easy to follow everything through without realising that actually, you'd been sat there for five hours. That had got him into trouble with Anna plenty of times.

Still, he doubted she'd be quite as angry if she knew he had been training, for whatever reason she always assumed he was slacking off, not that he could think why that might be. He didn't really mind though, Anna was Anna and it wasn't as if he told her any different, so he could accept her yelling at him. As long as he was left to get on with what he wanted, the rest of it didn't really matter.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry, sorry, it's late. I've been busy so it's been neglected and then I remembered it needed updating and wouldn't let me upload anything. It's finally here though. Sorry for the wait - hopefully it was worth it.

* * *

Unsurprisingly Yoh had ended up training longer than he had intended, though only by half an hour, which was an impressive new record for him. It definitely felt like he was getting closer to his goal, though whether that was just down to a change in mindset he wasn't really sure, not that he supposed it mattered.

_I hope Hao hasn't been waiting for me, or if he has that he isn't mad. I do want to see him; things just got a little messed up tonight. It isn't as though he told me when he'd be back though, so it isn't as if I've stood him up or something. It will be fine I'm sure; Hao can be a perfectly reasonable individual when he wants to be and he wants us to get along too, so he'll be understanding._

It was night again, which was unusual, the sun was normally shining while he was there, so he wondered if that meant Hao had visited again. Yoh made his way to the lake, only half disappointed when he didn't see anyone there. Shaking his head slightly Yoh turned his attention to the changed that had occurred in his absence, only to jump when a pair of arms wrapped around him.

Hao laughed softly and let Yoh go, allowing the other to face him. "Sorry but I couldn't resist the opportunity, I have been waiting a while after all."

Yoh grinned, thrilled to see a more playful side of his twin. "Yeah, sorry about that, world war three meant I was a little behind schedule."

Hao quirked an eyebrow. "World war three?"

"Just another argument, normal stuff."

"What about this time?"

"Horo-Horo came up with an awful idea for a party and oddly enough Anna agreed to it. Ren told them he and I wouldn't be attending because we had more important things to do, and I'm sure you can imagine the rest."

"I'll pass, but yes, it wouldn't be difficult to figure out given what I saw of them. Tell me Yoh, are you happy?"

Yoh paused, contemplating his response. "I know I'm hiding a lot from them and I know it's going to cause a lot of problems, but they're my friends and I do enjoy spending time with them. Yes, I'm happy, though maybe not as much as I could be."

Hao nodded before taking hold of Yoh's hand and leading him down to sit by the lake. Yoh leaned against Hao's shoulder, feeling safe and content. He knew what Hao was asking and why, which was the reason he didn't want to answer without thinking it through first. He needed to be honest but without being negative in either aspect; it was the fairest way of handling things.

"You've grown up a lot, I'm proud of you." Hao stated gently.

Yoh smiled in response, the simple words making him feel elated. "Thank you Hao, I'm glad. It's nice to be able to have this after everything that happened. You've taken away so much that was holding me back and I'm grateful for that."

Hao smiled, petting the top of Yoh's hair. "Daijobu desu ototo."

Yoh pouted slightly at Hao's condescending act but knew he was only playing, which in itself was a good thing. Hao definitely seemed to have lightened up and it was nice to see a good-humoured approach to things. He seemed to have more life in him and seemed to have found a way to live rather than the unhappy existence he'd had for so long. Now all they had to do was make sure things stayed that way.

"Did you find anything out?" Yoh asked suddenly, his thoughts having drifted to his wish to live here permanently.

Hao shook his head. "Not really, though I think the gate here will be closed until the design is complete. Until that point, we won't be able to find out how to come here in person. I did find out more about how this was opened but I don't think you're really interested in that."

"No, providing everything is okay, it doesn't matter. It's moving forward, not looking backwards that I want to do."

Hao nodded. "I know, I'm trying to be more like that, to let go of everything but it isn't as easy for me as it is for you. As long as things are fine between us, that's really all that matters. I don't want to hurt anymore, so the same goes for you."

Yoh grinned and nodded. Even if it wasn't phrased as one, that was a promise. He wouldn't take actions he knew Yoh would disapprove of because that meant they would fight again. As long as Hao was willing to follow Yoh's lead (in not being socially genocidal), then they could work things out.

_It seems almost silly that I can feel so happy and content just by sitting here with him. I know my family will think I've lost my mind or something but I can't help how I feel. I've always been an optimist, I've always looked for the best in someone and my grandfather taught me that only good people can see spirits. Hao must have been a good person for that to be the case, so then why couldn't he learn to be one again?_

_I appreciate the risks involved but I truly believe that this is the honest truth, I may not be able to read other's thoughts and feelings but I hold no doubt of his sincerity, he isn't playing me. I'm not just going to believe everything he tells me as gospel, I'll follow my heart as I always have, but I'm not going to push him aside and ruin any chances of a peaceful resolution._

_I can only hope that after everything that's happened, they will have some faith in me and my judgement. It would be wonderful if they trusted me and accepted this but I'm certainly not going to hold my breath. A new world without the old ties and binds would make things easier for us all; a fresh start is definitely what some of us need. All I can do is hope for the best, even if I may expect the worst, either way, things will work out the way they're meant to._

"Niisan, what are you doing right now, where are you?" Yoh asked softly.

Hao kept his gaze on the stars, evidently expecting the question. "I'm far away from those who would cause me to stray. The girls are with me but that is all. As for what I'm doing, I'm waiting for you, to finish this place or to remove the problem my reishi causes."

"I'll do both Hao, I'll fulfil our dreams, I promise."

"I know you will Yoh, that's why I came to you. Don't ever doubt yourself, you're walking a path only you can and it will lead to our salvation. For anything we may share, we are two very different people, I know that now; while we belong together, we are meant to be separate as well, two entities, not one."

Yoh smiled, Hao was doing a very good job at telling him what he needed to hear and while he supposed it was unlikely that Hao didn't know that, it didn't matter because he was telling the truth. Even if no one else might believe that, he knew the other wasn't trying to manipulate him. Was it really so unreasonable to believe that they could see each other's souls when their souls had joined as one?

"So Hanagumi are okay?"

"Yes, they're fine. I think they would like to see you, though they haven't said as much. They have never been the type to make comments of something they know isn't feasible however."

"They're good girls, I know a lot of people wouldn't necessarily believe that but I can see that they are. Its difficult being a shaman, people can be very cruel to those who are different and so people have to build up walls to protect themselves. There's nothing wrong with wanting a world that isn't like that but it's too easy to get lost along the way because of all those comments and feelings."

"You've given all of this a lot of thought, haven't you? Don't worry Yoh, it doesn't need to consume you so much anymore, everything is okay now, no matter what happens from here on out."

_I don't think I agree with that, I know what he means, that the issues between us are resolved, and even without us really talking to each other, that is the case, but that everything is fine no matter what, that probably isn't true. While we may understand each other much better than we did, it wouldn't really be that difficult to imagine that things could go back to the way they were before._

_If our family finds out about this before I find a way to block the reishi and everyone gangs up on Hao again, he would retaliate. If he went back to how he was before and he hurt them, even though it would be because of them, then he I and would go back to fighting again. Regardless of whose fault it is, Hao is far more dangerous than they are and he has taken far too many lives already. It isn't hard to imagine that all this would be lost._

_Of course it's feasible enough that even with our new world and the reishi blocked things still won't be alright. I don't want to consider that side of things but I know that I need to be prepared for everything that may occur. They may never accept it and we may never be left in peace, which may lead Hao down that path regardless. I won't believe that something like that is our destiny though, I'll follow the beliefs I've always held, that's worked for me so far._

"I think it may be a while before I can come to you again Yoh and I think you may have a difficult time for a while. I'm sorry I won't be able to offer any support but I think we both know it would only make matters worse if I tried to." Hao stated suddenly, completely seriously.

"I had wondered with Ren questioning me if they could feel something. Still, I think Ren intends to get me out of the way, even though he isn't really sure about this himself. Either way, I'll be okay and yes, you're right, it would make things worse if you were around."

"You're sure this is what you want Yoh?"

"What, being with you? You already know the answer to that. We belong together and if there's any chance that I can stop this cycle of pain and hatred I have to try. I don't agree with them and I can't go against my beliefs just to appease them, as much as I may hate discord."

Hao nodded. "Let's not worry about that for now, there isn't much time before we have to part ways again, let's make the most of our time together until then."

Yoh nodded and cuddled further into Hao, both enjoying the view of the night sky. He was less than thrilled that things had come to light so soon, he had hoped to have attained at least one of his goals by the time they found anything out. It would make things much more difficult especially if, as he suspected, they knew of his dealings with Hao.

_I had wondered if Ren had felt Hao's power when he kept insisting that there was something more I hadn't told him. Given his reaction I told myself that it couldn't be the case but maybe I should have given it more due attention. Given the fact that I opted to disappear by myself and the duration that Hao and I have been sat here, it's quite possible that they know he's around, even if they don't know how._

_I don't think Ren would tell them anything but he would probably try to get them to leave me alone all the same, though that once again shows pre-knowledge, which will cause problems. Still, even if I had to leave everyone and everything behind, I would. I know how important this is and I'm not going to fail. It may well cost me a lot but I'm willing to pay the price. If I'm lucky it won't come to that and they'll trust me, that's all I can hope for. No matter what, I don't regret this, our reconciliation is too important to me._


	7. Chapter 7

Quick update, given I was so late with the last chapter. Hopefully it will go back to the normal fortnightly updating after this. Is anyone aside from Shaami still reading this out of interest? Lol, anyway, time to shut up. Laters.

* * *

There was definitely a tense air around him as he started to wake up. Yoh sighed internally; this was not really the way he wanted to start the day. He had expected that reaction however, so it was just something he was going to have to deal with as best he could. He could feel Ren's presence between him and the others, so he could only assume the purple-haired boy had been trying to give him the time he needed with Hao.

"Arigato Ren." Yoh said softly, finally opened his eyes and sitting up.

Ren looked round with almost a relieved look and nodded. "It's about time; I know you're lazy but still."

Yoh smiled at the brusque response, at least something was okay and normal. "Morning everyone."

Anna glared hard at the light greeting. "Morning? That's the best you can come up with? Get explaining, now."

"I'm going to leave and give you all a chance to cool down. You're over-reacting and not thinking straight. You should really trust my judgement more. For anyone willing to be mature about it, I'll answer queries and concerns but not right now."

"What makes you think I'm just going to let you leave?"

"I don't mean to sound callous, but what makes you think you can stop me? We all know I'm the strongest one here and I've learnt a lot more since you last knew. I 'am' leaving now, whether you like it or not, if you want to be reasonable later, then we'll talk, those are the rules."

Yoh slipped some clothes on and walked out between them, most too shocked to even think about trying to stop him. Ren followed shortly behind, grabbing Yoh to collect a few things before they left. In all the commotion he had forgotten Ren's arrangement for them to go to China.

"I'm impressed; who knew you could stand up for yourself?" Ren jibed.

Yoh smiled slightly at the attempt to lighten his mood. "A rare occurrence I know but sometimes these things have to be done. This is important and I'm not going to be bullied by someone who doesn't have the first clue what's going on."

"You spoke with him about what you needed to? Do you really think it's safe?"

"Everything is fine Ren, things have changed; we have new options now. He still gets what he wants but it's done without bloodshed and the reishi gets blocked to prevent repeat performances. I just need a little more time on both projects and everything will be okay. Nantoka naru."

"I trust you, you know that. I just want to know that you're sure and not just doing this because you feel you need to, that's all."

"It would be a lie if I said it wasn't because I need it but I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it was safe to. I understand the risks involved but I hold no doubts that things have changed and that providing it's handled properly, it's okay to be closer to him."

"Understood. I'll stand by you, even though I'm not particularly sure about some of this."

"Thank you Ren, I appreciate your help and support. It's much easier having someone I can count on, rather than trying to handle everything all by myself."

"You're welcome. You've done a lot for me and I've never known you to be wrong about anyone yet."

Yoh nodded his acknowledgement and stepped out of the house, more than pleased to be out of the oppressive atmosphere. He knew certain individuals had been listening to their conversation and he hoped that it would help appease the situation somewhat. More likely than not Anna would contact his family and none of them would like the idea but he hoped that his friends would be more open and accepting as Ren was.

_Being firm made the situation easier to deal with but it probably wouldn't have helped much with their anxiety. Still, hopefully knowing that Ren was aware of the situation and didn't try to stop me might help. I know they're worried and I know that being so insensitive and firm wouldn't have helped with that but nothing good was going to come out of that situation._

_Like I said, once they're willing to be reasonable and actually talk to me, I'm quite happy to explain, but while they're not going to listen to a word I say and just intend to yell at me, I'm not going to waste the effort. I've done as much as I can for the time being, I know they're not happy and I know they didn't expect a response like that from me but it can't be helped._

_We've spent enough time together and I've made enough accurate observations on people along the way for them to have a little faith, like Ren does. If they choose not to, then there isn't really an awful lot I can do about it. I'm not willing to throw everything away that I've been working so hard on for what I know to be unfounded concerns. Hao isn't who he was at the tournament and this is the best path for me to walk. I believe in myself and that's good enough._

"Are we going now?" Yoh asked.

"There are a few hours before we're scheduled to leave but we will be going today." Ren replied.

_A few hours with nowhere to go and nothing to do, I know how I'd prefer to spend them but it wouldn't really be fair to do that. I can't leave Ren bored with nothing to do while I go wandering the cosmos, not after everything he's done for me lately. Probably I should offer to train with him but unless we did more sparring, I think it would be more me teaching him and I'm not sure he'd like that very much._

_As much as he'll pick things up from me and follow my lead, he likes to work things out for himself. Ren is the type of person to push himself to be the best that he can be, relying on himself and his own strength, rather than being led by someone else, which is respectable enough but sometimes he needs to loosen up about it. Being so rigid all the time doesn't do him any favours._

_I guess he wouldn't really be Ren otherwise though, that is one of his defining features after all. If he's happy with it then that's all that really matters, we have to be ourselves and follow our hearts or really, what's the point? That's the only way someone can hope to lead a life without regrets._

"What are you thinking about?" Ren asked.

Yoh glanced over to him. "What to do in the meantime."

"Knowing what you're like, breakfast should probably come first, after that, I'm sure we can find something to do."

Yoh grinned and nodded, food was probably a good idea and without Anna present he could get away with eating whatever he wanted, whether it was good for him or not. Breakfast was important, so as long as he ate something, it should be good enough. Where was the fun if you couldn't have the things you enjoyed and had to live with things you didn't?

Ren's comment suggested that he was willing to do something non-shaman related as well, which could potentially be highly entertaining, though Ren might not agree. Getting the boy to partake in normal activities would definitely be worth getting his head bitten off over. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that and the purple-haired teen would actually enjoy himself.

He didn't have the first clue what Ren might enjoy, which wasn't a particularly promising start but breakfast would give him some time to think. Ren would probably want something Chinese as he always did but Yoh was definitely not in the mood for that, something sugary sounded like a much better idea, though it had been a while since he'd been allowed to have a cheese burger, so that was always another option.

_It's nice that he's being so easy-going about things, not that he really ever seriously argues with me, but all the same… I wonder if he has something in mind for us to do, I didn't really get that impression but I guess it's possible given he made the comment. Either way, as long as things are stress-free I don't really mind what we do, I just want to chill out for a while._

_Back to food, maybe I should just have both, we have got a long trip to go on after all, so it wouldn't hurt. If I have shaved ice of some description it isn't really all that bad for me either, it's just hydrating. Hopefully should I need to blag to someone else that reasoning will suffice, though I won't hold my breath. Ren should just leave me to do what I want though, even if he does comment on it._

Yoh sat on the park bench grinning, this was definitely the kind of breakfast he enjoyed, though he knew it was something better left as a rare treat. He and Ren had compromised and had gone their separate ways to get something to eat before meeting up in the park. Surprisingly Ren had also gone for a rather unhealthy option, so Yoh had nothing to worry about with his own choice.

He supposed Ren probably needed it as comfort food as much as he did, something nice for all the stress and concern. It would never be called comfort food to Ren of course, since that wasn't something he would ever need, that was something girls did when they broke up with their boyfriends, not him. The thought was enough to make Yoh laugh, though he managed to contain himself, lest he have to explain to Ren.

"That was good." Yoh stated when he had finished everything.

Ren nodded. "Not something I would normally do but as a one-off, yes, it was."

"Any ideas or preferences?"

"No, you know this place better than I do."

Yoh nodded, that was true, though it didn't mean he had any idea of anything the Tao would enjoy doing that was readily available in the city. They had spent a lot of time around one another but that was generally concerning shamanism rather than just 'hanging out' and he didn't want to sit around talking as that was about all they would have to do on the journey.

"Completely random idea, but what about the arcade? I don't expect you'd really consider playing games but it could be an interesting experience and with all the fighting games there are, you might pick up a few new moves or ideas."

Ren looked dubious but didn't decline immediately; instead he gave it some careful consideration. The argument was a valid one, theoretically at least. It was a new avenue to look down for some quick ideas and possible way to improve further, but the idea of going into one of those places with all the idiots that were guaranteed to be present was certainly not an incentive.

"Very well, I shall see what I think, though I reserve the right to leave at any time I see fit."

"Sure, that sounds fair."

Yoh smiled as he led the way to the arcades, he hadn't expected Ren to agree so easily, so it was a pleasant surprise, which solved the problem of how to waste some time. He knew Ren would be put off initially but hoped that once they got playing the purple-haired teen would enjoy himself. It wasn't the sort of thing he usually did either but he was open to trying things and if he could play and learn at the same time as he had suggested, it would be worth it.


	8. Chapter 8

_That was tedious. It wasn't a bad trip really and we talked throughout, so it wasn't exactly boring or anything, but I still found it very tedious. I feel so restless, it's like the time was wasted, even though I know we came for a reason. I just want to be doing something instead of sitting around. Maybe it's because I'm worried about Anna and my family, every second is precious because I don't know what they might do._

_I have to get on and do what I need to; I can't afford to fail this. I hope that there is a way I can make them understand but I am afraid that they'll try to stop me from doing this. It's too important to me and I know if this all goes wrong I'm going to regret it forever. I need to save him, or at least do everything I can to try. I can't walk that path, I can't hope to destroy him as they seem to wish, it goes against who I am._

_I know that I shouldn't be panicking but I am, I can't help it. There has been so much loss, pain and hatred for so long now and I need to put an end to it. All we need to do is try, to understand and accept and change. We can all get along and leave in peace, there has to be a way for that to come to pass, there just has to be. I won't fail, I can't._

"Thinking about them?" Ren asked softly.

Yoh nodded, sighing audibly. "I don't know what they're going to do. They're likely to react the same way she did and I'm not sure I can make them understand."

"It isn't like you to worry, let alone like this. You need to be careful though, you need to make sure that you're doing this for the right reasons."

"I know that Ren, I already told you that as much as this is because I need to do it, I am sure that things have changed and that it's safe to do this. I have to put my all into this; I have to make things work and stop the cycle from happening again."

Ren nodded solemnly. "I understand Yoh; I know you feel responsible for all this because of your ties to him. I'll do what I can; I do mean that, I just need reassuring sometimes, I don't want you getting hurt again."

"Arigato Ren."

Ren nodded his acknowledgement as he led Yoh inside, Jun greeting them both warmly as they entered. She quickly took over, chatting and generally trying to lighten the troubled mood that seemed to have settled over both boys. She wasn't kept waiting long before the two were laughing again, much to her relief and theirs.

The merriments lasted for about an hour before Jun deemed it was time to eat, and they all settled down to a meal together. Discussion over the meal was light, though the subject of why Yoh was there was expectedly brought up. Jun didn't press the issue much, instead choosing to explain what she and Ren had been studying and to what ends.

_It's a relief that Jun is so easy-going and understanding, she seems to know what to say and what to avoid to keep the mood light. It's nice to have the distraction from everything, I was working myself up and it wasn't doing me any good. I need a distraction to put everything back into perspective and that's exactly what they're providing, though Jun is definitely better at this kind of thing then Ren is._

_I'm not feeling anywhere near as worried as I was earlier, though I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still concerned about what might happen. I was being pretty pessimistic for me and not really all that reasonable. Things may well not turn out very well but if I start out with that mindset then it's more likely to happen. While I can prepare myself for the worst, I need to expect the best, just like always._

_No matter what comes, I'll accept it and move forward, everything will turn out the way it's meant to and that should be good enough. If nature has given me this opportunity then I need to make the most of it and if it's nature's will, then it will come to pass the way nature intends. Regardless of the arrogance of humanity, we bow to nature, not the other way around._

_That being said, Hao is quite capable of 'controlling' nature, since he learnt the essence of its energy, but he's an exception. Even those who learnt the techniques in the Chou Senji Ryakketsu can't manipulate natural energy like Hao can. I am learning how to do the same unintentionally through everything else I've been doing, but I've always been good with elements._

_I wonder how much of that is because of Hao, though really I'm not sure that it matters. For any of my power that I may have 'inherited' from him, I'm still my own person and what I learn or not is down to the decisions I make, not the blood flowing within me. The family is too obsessed with bloodline and strength, we should be able to make our own choices and walk our own path, otherwise we never truly get to live._

_It's sad that they're so very lost, life is all about responsibility and commitment, they live in terms of what 'must' be done and enforce that on everyone else as well. I've always shied away from that aspect of the family, though my arranged marriage to Anna was something I was never going to escape, whether I wanted to or not. I've always said that I love her but lately I've found myself questioning whether I do, or whether I made myself believe that I do because it was easier._

_I don't want to think like that but some part of me doesn't believe that I have those feelings for her. If you know from a young age that you're going to be spending your life with someone, don't you try from the start to care for them? It would be horrible to live with someone you hated, let alone have to be intimate with them purely because your family expects you to produce a strong heir to carry on the family name._

_As much as I tried to avoid their way of doing things, I did always try with Anna; I did always tell myself that we were in love. Whether she genuinely loves me or not I'm not sure, she doesn't often make it easy to tell. Anna follows my grandparent's rules and always pushes me to be strong, to fulfil my duty; affection is a rare showing, though that does make it special._

_Given the ties with my friends and the newly heightened bond with Hao, I'm just not convinced that the feelings I thought I had are real. The ties between Anna and I just don't feel strong enough to be love. What I feel for Hao is so much stronger than what I feel for her, or any of my family for that matter. Maybe it isn't fair to judge things with Hao; it isn't as though I really understand that connection._

Yoh watched curiously as Ren and Jun performed a complex Taoist ritual, it was something that they had to do regardless, so they decided to offer Yoh the chance to watch. It was too intricate for Yoh to be able to join in, so he wouldn't get the full understanding or outcome that they would, but being present would give him some idea of what they had been studying.

Taoism was something he had never studied so he didn't understand a lot of the principles of what seemed to be a very complicated dance. Clearly the two of them were well-versed, their movements complimenting each other flawlessly. There was definitely a pattern involved, though from what he had seen at the beginning, that pattern was not pre-set and determined, at least not completely.

The rite had just finished when a commotion began in the front hall, a knowing look passed between the three as Yoh resigned himself to his fate. Jun and Ren promised to support him, and that they would answer any questions he had about what had just happened once the current situation had been dealt with.

As Yoh stepped into the hall he was surprised to hear that most of the commotion was actually from his friends complaining that his family couldn't just invite themselves into someone else's house. Yoh smiled softly, they didn't seem to be angry about what had happened that morning, not if they were berating his family for something like that.

Ren gladly imposed himself upon the situation and made clear his displeasure at their disrespectful act towards his family and their home, pointing out this was China, not the Asakura land in Japan. Jun stayed back with Yoh, leaving her brother to 'defend the family honour', even if it was really just trying to give Yoh a little more time before he had to deal with the situation.

Amidamaru left the group and headed over to Yoh and Jun. "Yoh-dono, we have tried to calm them but I'm afraid we were unable. The rest of us would like to discuss the situation to understand where things stand and what has changed."

Yoh nodded. "Thank you for trying, especially under the circumstances. I'm quite happy to talk everything through but that may be difficult to do with them, so I may have to excuse myself in a similar manner to this morning."

"We understand. I'm sorry that things are so difficult, I know you don't like strife."

"I knew from the beginning that there would be fireworks, it can't be helped. Hopefully things will settle down soon though, they just need to have a little faith. Daijobu datte, nantoka naru."

Amidamaru nodded in response, evidently glad to hear Yoh's signature phrase. He knew it was hard, he knew they were worried but as he had hoped, his friends seemed willing to be mature about it and trust his judgement. The fact that Ren already knew and had protected him had definitely helped matters and he was glad for it.

As the attention of his friends turned more to him, so too did that of his family and it wasn't long before Ren gave up on the idea of trying to prevent the inevitable. Accusation was clearly written on their faces and Yoh sighed softly, it was going to be difficult to get them to listen to what he said, rather than overlooking it and biting anyway.

That had been the point of his reaction that morning, because he didn't see the point in trying to explain to people who just weren't willing to listen; he might as well talk to a wall instead, he'd get a better response. It would make things difficult for his friends as well, since they clearly wanted to understand the situation and his choices. Yoh sighed again, he hated situations like these, the undercurrents and hostility were always unpleasant.

"Minna." Yoh greeted politely, though not particularly enthusiastically.

"Yoh, is it true? Has Hao been in contact with you? For how long? Why didn't you tell us?" Mikihisa's tone at least was reasonable and concerned; the allegation present was only a minute hint.

Yoh nodded; glad to be spoken to rather than being yelled at. "It is true I've spoken to him, yes. He came to me initially the night before last and said that we could talk things through if it was what I wanted, which we did last night, so there was really nothing to tell until this morning."

"Okay, so what happened this morning was…?"

"Anna was not going to listen to me, so there was no point in trying to talk to her, as I told all of them at the time. Look, I know you aren't going to like it, let alone accept it, but things have changed, Hao isn't who he was during the tournament, it's okay."

"Yoh…"

"I know, I understand perfectly and I'm not going to do anything stupid, which includes treating him the same way as everyone else and remove any chance of a peaceful resolution to this. Please, just trust in me? I've been right so far haven't I?"

"When is he to contact you again? Has he asked to meet in person?"

"No. He said he wouldn't contact me for 'quite some time' because it would cause trouble for me. There isn't anything for you to worry about and if things do change then I'll have to do my best to take care of it, just like before. Please?"

"We'll talk about this another time since it's getting late, but you're to promise me that you'll tell us if he contacts you."

Yoh sighed and nodded, though he wasn't willing to say the words out loud. Hao would keep his word and it would be months down the line before he heard from his brother again, he didn't know how much might change and honestly he didn't want to bring any trouble Hao's way. The other was trying so hard to stay out of the way and not cause any problems; the last thing he wanted was to be the cause for Hao to return to his old ways.

Jun took over and issued everyone rooms, though it was obvious that neither she nor Ren were thrilled with the idea of having them there. His father had made things easier on him at least, though he was relatively sure none of them had accepted what Yoh had said. Still, he was free for the night at least, though he knew his friends would want to talk to him before things went any further.


	9. Chapter 9

Yoh yawned loudly, reminding everyone that it was getting late. He had spent the last few hours talking to his friends about what he had been learning and why, as well as his world and his meetings with Hao. There had been a lot of questions and discussion but everyone had accepted it without any aggravation, much to his relief. Jun and Ren had also gone through their own studies and the ritual they had performed before everyone else arrived.

He didn't know whether his family heard or not, in some ways it would make it easier if they had because he wouldn't have to explain everything again but there were some things he wasn't really convinced he wanted them to know. Still, it couldn't be helped he supposed and at least he knew now that his friends were willing to support him.

There were concerns of course and he couldn't blame them for that, he knew better than anyone the potential risks and consequences involved, as well as just how strong Hao was. He had seen everything from a different side to everyone else; he understood things far better than anyone else could where Hao was concerned.

He wasn't sure whether he would have a chance to do any training tonight or even if it was safe to do more work on his world. He wasn't really sure why he felt that way but his instincts adamant about it. Either way, he wasn't one to ignore his instincts and he wasn't willing to take the risk that something might happen, so as much as he didn't want to, he decided it would be best to give it a miss.

Glancing around, Yoh realised that most of his friends had left; only Ren, Bason and Amidamaru were sat in the room with him. Ren shook his head mirthfully at Yoh's surprise, not used to the other missing things and offered a hand to help him to his feet. Yoh accepted and waited for his friend to speak.

"You're worried about something, right? We decided that you'd stay in my room with the three of us tonight."

Yoh grinned, that made life easier on him, he'd been slightly embarrassed about asking for that particular favour. "Thanks, I appreciate that. As for being worried, I don't know, I just have a bad feeling."

"We'll watch over you as best we can, you're not going to go there tonight though are you, just in case?"

Yoh shook his head and Ren nodded, the three of them apparently relieved by the answer. Everyone was worrying about one thing or another lately, though he knew most of that revolved around him. They were willing to trust his judgement for the time being and hopefully once everything worked out and they got to meet Hao again, minus his empathy, they would feel more at ease about the situation.

_I'm glad that this has gone as well as it has so far but I can't shake this nagging feeling that something is wrong. It's not because of my friends, I'm sure of that, they trust me so they wouldn't take any action against me. I don't think my family would meaningfully hurt me, well, not unless they were honestly convinced that I was going to follow Hao's will or was becoming the same as him._

_It was strange that only dad spoke to me and not Anna or my grandfather, they let it all go too easily. I'm glad that it was all handled calmly but it was too calm given how strongly they feel about anything concerning Hao. I don't like thinking that they have ill intents and I really hope that they don't, but something is definitely wrong, it's just figuring out what, before it happens._

_I don't like that I feel afraid to do anything shaman related, though hopefully if I avoid that for the time being and that's what's wrong, it will be okay. I can't avoid training all together though and I certainly don't want to leave that world unattended for any period of time. It isn't stable enough yet, there's still too much to do before everything will be balanced._

_What could they do though? Why would it be dangerous for me to use my shaman abilities? I don't like not knowing and I don't know how I could find any answers without using shaman abilities. I'm trapped and I don't like it but I suppose there is nothing I can do but wait, I have no choice but to be patient._

_They wouldn't hurt me, right? They've got no need to, not from what I've said, so is it that they'll try to use me to get to Hao? Why would they though? They know they can't win… This is so confusing. I can appreciate that they would be worried that Hao is manipulating me, but I've spoken to him twice and he said he wasn't going to contact me, so why would they act so quickly?_

_There isn't any point in going over this again, I already know that I don't have the answers and can't materialise them out of thin air. I may just be paranoid, nothing may be wrong at all, I don't know because nothing has happened and no threats have been made. I'll be cautious just because my instincts say so but there's no point in worrying over nothing._

Yoh sighed and climbed into bed, he seemed to be working himself up over things a lot of late and it really wasn't like him. Maybe Hao had the right idea to take a step back from things; maybe he needed to do that himself. He had let himself get so wrapped up in what he was doing because he felt like he needed to, that he had lost perspective. Taking a break was probably the best course of action for him to take.

It would be strange though, to have a normal night's sleep instead of going there, it had become normal practice now. He would just have to hope that everything in that world would work out, that things would just hold as they were or right themselves because that was what he wanted. He knew he had to stop worrying about it though, just as he had to stop worrying about Hao.

"Are you okay Yoh?" Ren asked softly from where he was lying.

"Yeah, just got a bit too caught up with things I think. Everything will be fine; no matter what comes, we'll get through it okay." Yoh replied calmly and confidently.

"It's easily enough done, though that's exactly what I was worried about."

"I don't dispute anything I said to you, I believe in this and myself completely. I do appreciate that I need to take a step back though; I've been too blinkered on one thing instead of looking at the whole picture as it is now."

Ren nodded. "I suppose that I can understand that, I can be terrible for seeing what I want to see and ignoring everything else, though I think the same can be said for humanity in general, shaman or not. Not that I particularly want to associate myself with the ignorant masses."

Yoh laughed, not surprised by the latter comment. "We are what we are and when something is important to us…I guess that's why they say love is blind too."

"Or that's just a pathetic excuse for acting like an idiot. You know where things stand with us, you know that we'll support you, even if it is only the shrimp, the snow-brained idiot and I don't quite know how to describe Ryu…bodged attempt at an Elvis-wannabe maybe?"

Yoh laughed again, though he scolded Ren for being mean all the same. He was quite sure Faust and Eliza would trust him, Chocolove hadn't really been part of the group like the others were, there wasn't the same ties and connection, so he didn't honestly mind either way and Lyserg was never going to accept it and would definitely think of it as a betrayal. The core group that had been there from the start were still with him and that was all he really needed.

It would be a shame for him to fall out with anyone but as much as he disliked the fact, he knew that sometimes it couldn't be avoided. That didn't mean that he wasn't going to try his best to make sure it didn't happen all the same of course but he was prepared for it. Everyone would understand eventually that it was okay, that there was nothing to fear and once they did the situation would resolve itself.

In the meantime he would deal with whatever came his way; he could do that, even if he didn't relish the idea. Sometimes you had to do things you didn't like to get to where you wanted to be. As long as the end result promised for things to be much better, which it certainly seemed to, then he knew he would put up with any aggravation for the time being.

Yoh sighed softly; he was finding it difficult to fall to sleep tonight, which he knew was probably because his normal routine was disrupted. It didn't help that he was worried he might end up doing something subconsciously that would end up causing more trouble than it was worth. It seemed as though it was going to be a long night.

After lying there for two hours Yoh gave up on the idea of sleeping. Sighing softly he got up, careful not to disturb Ren as he did. He wasn't sure whether Amidamaru or Bason were around or knew that he was up but he didn't want to bother them either. Quietly he made his way to the roof, glad to have been told how to get there earlier; it made him feel better to be in high places looking up at the stars.

_I need to get some sleep, I'm tired but I just can't switch off. I've got too many things spinning round in my head and I haven't settled down how I want to. I have calmed down about the whole thing at least but it's still something I feel very strongly about. Probably it's purely because I can't do it that I want to, just as I want to talk to Hao because I know I can't._

_It's nice out here, there's such a beautiful view of the stars, though it's a little cold being so high up. Peaceful and pure and close to nature, the complete opposite of the city, it is something I've become used to again recently however, so there's comfort in it. I'd be better off trying to sleep out here if it weren't so cold._

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Mikihisa asked as he appeared at Yoh's side.

Yoh shrugged. "I gave up trying."

"It isn't like you not to be able to sleep."

"No, but it isn't really like me to have so much going on in my head either, is it?"

"I don't know Yoh, I'm not sure anymore."

"I've grown up since the tournament, that doesn't make me a different person, just a more mature one. All the important parts are still the same; can you really not see that?"

"You've spoken to Hao on favourable terms Yoh, what are we supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to believe in me, you're supposed to trust me."

"How can we? It's too dangerous Yoh! He has to be stopped."

"And how are you going to stop him? The only thing that's going to happen is yet another repeat in the cycle, what's wrong with trying to stop that? Please, I understand your concerns, I understand the risks, just trust my judgement, I know what I'm doing."

Mikihisa sighed and disappeared, leaving Yoh upset and once again ill at ease. It was disappointing and distressing that they weren't willing to listen to him, even though he had expected it. All that history of hate would not be so easily removed but they didn't even seem willing to look at the possibility.

_He didn't even try to answer me, not that I believe there is an answer to it. There was no comeback, just disapproval that I argued my case, albeit not much. Why can't they be reasonable about this? I just want this to end; I want the pain to go away. I know they think he's lying and using my kind nature against me and maybe they're right, but isn't it worth checking? Isn't it worth trying for if there's any chance things could change?_

_Things are going to get difficult now if I'm not careful; dad's reaction said it all. I wasn't wrong in believing that they'd use me to get to him but I don't understand what they expect to achieve. Maybe they think if they confronted him that he'd 'show his true colours' and I'd fight him. Maybe that would happen too but only because they pushed him into it again, which is why I won't do it, no matter what._


	10. Chapter 10

Morning came around too quickly and Yoh found that he had ended up falling asleep outside after all. He knew he had sat contemplating his father's reaction for some time but he didn't remember feeling drowsy, let alone feeling the gentle pull of slumber. He had made an important decision before that had occurred however and depending on what events the day heralded he knew he would have to follow it through.

It was difficult to know what would make matters worse and what needed to be done but it couldn't be helped. He knew where things stood; he knew that unless he could give them undisputable proof they would never accept his words. The problem was continuing with things in order to provide such evidence to support his claims, since he knew they intended to stop him.

_It's sad to think that things have to be this way, especially given that Hao left me to try and make things easier. No, I needed a break to think, so that I know the decisions I make are my own. I know why things have turned out this way, I know what I need to do and I can do it. I know this is the path I'm meant to walk and I will, I'm not afraid._

Yoh sighed and stood up, making his way inside. He knew Ren was not going to be pleased with him for going off by himself but he hoped he wouldn't get yelled at too badly. He had enough of that to come later without it being the first event of the day as well. Ren shot Yoh a glare that clearly said 'I could kill you' as he entered but said nothing.

Yoh smiled apologetically before he was greeted by his other friends, glad that Ren had left it at that. His father, grandfather and Anna stood by the far wall, he had felt their gazes on him when he entered but he had chosen not to acknowledge them thus far, his attention remaining with his friends instead.

Once his friends had finished with their banter he moved over to Ren and Jun, greeting them cordially before moving on to business. "We need to talk when we get the chance. Things have changed and I may need your help."

Jun nodded and agreed while Ren said nothing. He was quite sure they both knew what he meant and neither was particularly pleased but they were willing to be compliant despite that. He was asking a lot lately and he knew that but it couldn't be helped, not when his family was making things so difficult. He still hoped that the situation would change and it wouldn't come to that but he knew that he wouldn't be that lucky, things were already set in stone.

Ren motioned for them to join the others, knowing they were being observed. Yoh allowed himself to be led and was soon dragged into an argument over who was better, not that he had any idea who Horo or Ryu were talking about. Manta tried to fill him in while the two of them continued their debate and Yoh quickly decided that he was definitely not getting involved.

"Why are you having such a stupid argument let alone this early in the morning?" Ren asked after a few minutes.

"It's not stupid." Ryu protested.

"Yeah, these things matter!" Horo added.

"No real effort to answer the question there then." Manta quipped, earning himself a couple of glares.

"You both have different tastes, neither is better than the other." Yoh stated softly, not really interested in the pointless debate or taking sides.

Both boys were a little disappointed with the response, though they clearly weren't surprised by it. That was the way Yoh was but they'd still evidently hoped that he would side with their opinion so they could 'beat' the other. It was never going to happen though; he wouldn't choose one person over another regarding something so childish. Usually he would have said he'd never do it under any circumstance but given the current situation that had changed.

It didn't take long for Anna to join them and recommend training, or a mini tournament. Horo and Ryu looked enthusiastic about the idea but Ren jumped in before they could respond and flatly refused. Horo looked set to argue but the serious look on Ren's face apparently made him think twice.

"Ren, Jun and I have things to do, we came here for a reason, remember? You guys could always go outside and do some training if you want to but I'm afraid he and I are going to have to pass, sorry." Yoh stated casually.

"Can't we all spend some time together after yesterday? Isn't that important? We all need some reassurance Yoh." Anna asked sweetly, though too obviously faked to be taken as anything other than manipulative.

"I'm sorry but we have an appointment, this isn't something that can be rescheduled but I'm sure the boys are quite happy to sort something out later once we get back." Jun stated softly though not without an edge of finality.

Anna agreed reluctantly and returned to his father and grandfather. Yoh silently thanked Jun for her intervention and turned back to his friends. They apparently decided to take up Yoh's suggestion and promised to do their utmost to make Yoh's family go along with them as well. While they didn't really understand what was going on, they understood that Ren was worried about Yoh and that was good enough.

Ren saw the others out of the house before catching up with Yoh and Jun. Neither of them found it the least bit surprising that he wasn't willing to have them stay there in his absence, though they weren't sure that he was particularly pleased to have them there at all. That was probably because he was worried though, he was usually accommodating of them, even if they did annoy him.

_I'm not really sure what to expect from this, if anything. Really I hope that I'll be able to find out if my family have done anything and find a way to protect myself if they have. That isn't really the point of this visit of course but who knows, I might get lucky. It's sad that it has to be my primary concern though; I should be looking forward to this for what it is, rather than worrying about other things._

_We might not get anywhere at all of course; he may not be able to tell me anything. Assuming he'll talk to me at all once he realises Hao and I share the same soul and that I want to help him. I could be wrong, he may not know anything of Hao, or just not care, I'm rather paranoid where Hao is concerned now. Unfortunately anything that involves my brother usually ends up being trouble._

_Then again, maybe everything really will be okay. He knows my fears, I can see that but it's okay, they're not going to be fulfilled. He's a good man, not judgemental, someone willing to believe in the good he sees, I know I have nothing to fear. It's a relief to meet a shaman who isn't automatically biased because Hao is involved. This man is accepting and wise, I'm glad Jun managed to arrange this meeting because I'm sure it's going to be invaluable to me._

"Welcome, I am Zhou Jian." Was the cordial greeting they received.

"Thank you once again for allowing us. This is my brother Ren and this is Asakura Yoh." Jun replied, the two having already met.

"It is my pleasure to meet your friend; he offers insight into areas I could only dream of. He and I have much to discuss, though I feel that it would take quite some time to truly benefit us."

"Yes, I agree, I don't have a problem with that." Yoh replied confidently.

Ren and Jun looked to Yoh in surprise while Jian nodded, having expected that response. It must seem like a big decision to be making so quickly, to agree to stay with a stranger for what could be months or longer. He knew it was the right choice to make however and since he had been sure he would have to leave everyone and everything for a time anyway, it was the perfect opportunity.

Everything in life happened for a reason; he believed that without doubt, even if the reason was hard to see sometimes. The recent events had led to this and he was going to see it through without hesitation. It didn't matter if no one else understood, he believed in himself and he was sure the man in front of him was trustworthy and had no ill-intent. He needed a way out because his family was going to make it impossible to stay and now he had been provided with one. Everything always worked out the way it was meant to.

"Let us go through a few things together to satiate your curiosity, and then leave your friend to my care. You all know there is a cloud looming over him threatening to cause harm to him elsewhere. I assure you he will be safe here, it is for the best that he stays."

Ren looked to Yoh for reassurance and Yoh smiled warmly, nodding his agreement to the statement. They understood each other and the situation, so Yoh wasn't worried. He didn't really want to make anyone worry but now was one of those times that you had to put yourself first. He couldn't stay put, he had known that for certain since that morning and this way he wasn't alone fending for himself.

"Please don't worry. I had to leave anyway, that's what I was going to talk to you about. Doing things this way is safer and easier and if I'm lucky, maybe it will put my family at ease a little. Either way, we both understand the situation and accept the consequences this may or may not bring."

"As long as you'll be okay, though I may well have to drag you to ours to make sure you're having a good meal. It isn't as though you're far away from us." Jun replied genially.

Ren nodded. "As you wish but Jun is right, you're not far from us, so don't think you can keep away."

Yoh smiled and nodded. "Thank you both, for everything."

_And so hours have passed and here I am alone in Jian's home. It's strange to be under someone else's roof, especially when I don't know said person. It isn't unpleasant or uncomfortable though, as it probably would be for most people; I just know what I can and can't do, so I'm not left sitting wondering what's okay and what would offend. It's still strange to be staying here all of a sudden though._

_It was interesting discussing so many things with Ren and Jun here but I know there's a lot more that he wouldn't say with them here. I don't think any of it is a major secret or that he doesn't trust their discretion, I think he just wants us to go through it all before it goes any further. He said I offered insights into areas he could only dream of, so maybe he knows about my world and the phenomena is something he's studied for a long time._

_That kind of thing usually makes a person 'protective' of the subject matter, wanting the information before anyone else. Still, it isn't as though it makes any difference whether that's the case or not. If he can help me with Hao and my family and I can help him answer a few queries, then it works out for us both and that's what counts._

_As long as we can both help each other then it's worth it, right? Neither of us wants to hurt anyone, we're both happy to live in harmony, so it's okay. He's a nice guy, maybe not overly socialised, given he's more of a hermit but he isn't rude or anti-social, he's been very kind to us. He wants to know about my world and I'm sure he would love to go there as much as I would, there's no harm in that._

Yoh greeted Jian when he returned with something for them to eat. Dining would be casual, a chance for them to learn a little more about the other before they got down to business. He knew they had a lot to talk about before anything could get under way, though he had to be sure he wouldn't be putting himself or Hao at any risk before he was willing to do anything.

Still they had plenty of time to work through everything and make sure the situation was understood in its entirety. He was sure that Jian would help find an answer if he didn't already have one, with this seemingly so important to him, he wouldn't be willing to take any risks. That suited Yoh perfectly because he wasn't willing to risk it either, not when it could make so much of a difference.

_I wonder how long it will be before I get to speak to him again and if I'll have a solution or our new world by that time. Being away from them and having to stick to their routines, I should be able to spend more time training and searching for the answer to the ever problematic reishi. It will be easier to fulfil both parts now, I'm sure of that; it's just a matter of time. Daijobu datte, nantoka naru._


	11. Chapter 11

_I didn't say anything last week, since I wasn't sure, but I will be changing to weekly updates now (unless I forget, in which case, feel free to kick me). I expect the story to be finished by the first couple of weeks in December (should be about 17 chapters total)._

_Hope anyone who's still reading this is enjoying it but even without any reviews, since I started it, I'll finish it. Laters._

* * *

A year down the line already, though it's hard to believe that the time has flown by so quickly. I'm amazed that my family has left me alone all this time, the same goes for my friends for that matter. I've barely even seen Ren or Jun over what I guess must be the last six months. I don't know what's going to have changed with them, though I'll find out soon enough, since I'm going to drop in on them.

_Hopefully they'll be around; it would be a shame if they weren't. It isn't as if I could pick up a phone and call them, so just dropping in is all I can do; it isn't as though it's far away. I know I've changed drastically over the past twelve months, with everything I've learnt and from living with Jian, I wonder what they'll think. Hopefully they'll be fine with it; they've been okay with everything else._

_I don't really know why we stopped spending time together in the first place; hopefully it wasn't because I did or said something wrong; they never said anything to me. I guess I'll find out if that is the case soon enough but I don't believe that it is, we've been through too much together and Ren isn't the type not to verbally object to something he doesn't like._

_Life is ever changing; it never stays still, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that things have moved on. I'm sure they'll welcome me as normal though, perhaps they'll be glad to know that I've finally finished with that. I'm certainly pleased; now I just need to speak to Hao and everything will be over and done with._

Yoh smiled brightly, it was a relief to finally have everything in place and he was much stronger and wiser now, so protecting himself was far easier. He had found out a lot of how his family worked through Jian's knowledge, which made it easier to figure out how they would react and in-turn stop or counter-act anything detrimental.

He wasn't really worried though, even if they did react badly to things, there was only so much influence they could permeate. That world was finished now and as much as Jian wanted to go, he had acknowledged that Yoh needed to go with Hao before anyone else entered there, once that was done however, they would be able to go and stay there, well beyond the reach of anyone who wished them harm.

It was an exciting time for him and he hoped that his friends would be enthusiastic about it, though moreover Ren and Jun because of all the support they had given him and the fact that they had felt it themselves, even though they didn't understand what it was at the time. They had talked through so much and they were the reason he had met Jian.

Finally arriving at the Tao residence, Yoh knocked on the door, hoping his friends were there and that it was not a bad time. Lee Pailong answered the door and welcomed him into the main hall, asking him to wait while he collected his mistress and her brother. Yoh smiled and nodded and Pailong went up the stairs to the first floor and exited through one of the doors, though Yoh didn't look, admiring the redecoration of the room instead.

"Well look at this." Ren stated snidely, though Yoh could hear it was playful.

"Hello Ren, Jun. It's been a while, how are you both?" Yoh replied cheerfully.

Jun smiled. "We're fine, thank you. It's good to see you, you're looking well."

"Thank you, sorry for just dropping in unannounced but it would be a little difficult to let you know beforehand."

Ren shook his head and embraced Yoh briefly. "Its fine you idiot, we've told you that you're always welcome. So what brings you, is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine; I've finished what I was doing, so I wanted to talk to you both and just see you in general."

"Really? We knew you were getting close but we haven't been able to do certain rituals lately. Have you found a way to block the reishi as well?"

Yoh nodded, pleased that Ren sounded excited about it. "Yes, I finally learnt it."

"Have you spoken to him at all?"

"No, not yet. I'm not really sure how to contact him to be honest but I'm hoping he'll realise and contact me. He knew I was trying to learn it without me saying anything."

"So, is it finalised now? Can anyone go there?"

"It's finished yes, but I haven't been there in person yet, I want to go with Hao first. Jian's agreed to wait until after that but I promise I won't keep you waiting any longer than I have to."

Ren nodded and Jun ushered them both further into the abode, opting eventually for the dining room before disappearing into the kitchen and returning again to sit with them. Logic said that she'd asked the kitchen staff to bring refreshments and sure enough a few minutes later they were served, not that they were really paying any attention by that point.

Soon enough night had fallen and the three retired to bed, only half surprised that they had managed to talk for so many hours without realising it. Yoh smiled as he settled down to sleep, it had been a good reunion. They had all changed and grown but they still got along so well. They even seemed to have accepted the idea of Hao being around; there were no more frowns, hesitations or 'looks'.

It was a relief that everything had gone so well with them, he had expected everything to be okay but he hadn't thought it would be as good as it was. Things were much better than he had thought they would be and he was very glad for it. If he was lucky, his other friends would still be accepting, as they had been the day he left, not that he was really sure if or when he would see them.

What really mattered now was seeing Hao again and finding out if everything was still okay. It had been a long time and he had no idea if his family had gone after him. He was sure that Hao would retaliate if they did and that it would no doubt lead his brother down the wrong path again. He didn't think it was likely though, Yoh didn't know where he was and Hao was being careful, it wouldn't be so easy to find him, ridiculously powerful or not.

Finally drifting off to sleep, Yoh found himself back in his creation. It was strange to be there now that it was finished and he knew he could go there in person now. It was a real, working world, fully able to support itself and the life upon it. It was hard to believe it was true, that he could have achieved something so amazing. Yoh smiled as he neared the lake, Hao was waiting for him.

"Ototo." Hao greeted gently.

"Hello Hao. You look well, everything is okay still?" Yoh asked warmly.

"Everything is fine, as it was before. So you've finished everything you set out to, congratulations. You've become very strong and I dare say much wiser."

"Not quite everything, I still have to teach you what I've learnt. I'd like to see you for real and I'd like for us to come here in person together as well. What do you think?"

"Certainly; I'm flattered you want us to witness it together before anyone else. I think it best you come to me; I'll leave a clue of how to find me before I leave. Thank you Yoh, for trusting me after everything I put you through and for offering help."

"You're welcome. It's something I want to do, something that's important to me. I don't want things to carry on the way they have. We're family, we shouldn't be fighting and if I can help everyone else then I should be able to do the same for you."

"I'm proud of you; you've come so far and become so strong. I'm glad we've had this opportunity, I really am."

Yoh smiled brightly. "Thank you, I am too."

Hao nodded and took Yoh's hand, leading him to sit beside the lake. Yoh settled down, leaning against Hao's shoulder as he had the last time. It was nice to be able to do that, it just felt right. He had grown a lot and had looked at things from a distance and he was completely confident now that he was doing this for the right reasons and not just for himself.

_It's all real and safe and I've never been so content. This is how things are supposed to be and even if they can't see it, this is the best way of stopping Hao, not by pointlessly killing him every time he resurrects, but by taking away the will and intent to act the same way he has for so long._

_He and I are meant to be together and I think that's something we've both realised, just not in the way Hao initially thought. We don't need to be the same soul in the same body to feel whole, it's far better to have the company of the other. I'm glad everything has worked out this way, for both our sakes and hopefully for a lot of other people's as well._

"I can't believe it's been a year since we last spoke. It feels like it's gone by so quickly." Yoh muttered softly.

"You've been busy; the illusion of time is that it passes faster when you're too occupied to notice it." Hao replied.

"And what about you? What have you been doing since then?"

"Sadly not a lot of anything, though perhaps that is your ideal?"

Yoh grinned, sticking his tongue out in response. "I've been working my ass off thank you very much. Just because I like to take things easy doesn't mean I'm bone-idle."

"But your wish for becoming Shaman King was to be able to be lazy all day every day, was it not?"

"'Was' being the optimal word, not that I'm sure I ever really meant that. I couldn't live like that knowing others were suffering I don't think. Acting one way and truly being that way in your heart of hearts is two different things."

"And what about now, what do you want? What do you think your 'heart of hearts' is telling you?"

"You and I need to decide on some rules for our new world and we'll see who gets to go there with us. Those with the will to live in harmony with nature and others will get a fresh start without modern society and bloody history looming over them. Everyone else, well we all have to walk our own path."

Hao nodded. "You are most certainly wiser dear brother. I'll do what I can to help you, though I think we should perhaps deal with the reishi before we start playing with others."

"Agreed, empathy could well cause major problems. We'll do that soon though; I'll see you soon, for real for the first time."

It briefly crossed Hao's mind to argue that it wasn't the first time they had met in person before his mind just as quickly informed him that Yoh meant who he was before the reishi made him into someone else. Instead he nodded and agreed with his twin before informing him it was about time they both woke up.

Yoh pouted briefly before changing his mind, his brain having registered that morning no longer meant missing out on things. He would travel to see his brother and they would come here together in the flesh, just as he had wanted for what felt like so long now.

He carefully made note of Hao's clue to his whereabouts before bidding him farewell for a few hours. It wasn't a disappointment to wake up this time; this was the start of something he longed for, the start of their lives together and happiness. Everything was okay now; everything was how it needed to be.


	12. Chapter 12

Hello again! Thank you for the reviews, they were very nice ^^

I will confirm that Hao is here 'irl' and is here to stay, so feel free to celebrate. I also think this is probably my favourite chapter, or the end of it at least - let me know what you think. Laters.

* * *

Yoh woke with a smile firmly plastered on his face; today he would travel to see Hao in person. He was going to ask Ren and Jun if they wanted to accompany him, not that he was sure whether they would want to or not. He wanted the company in some ways; mainly as backup should his family show up, while in others he didn't want to have to worry about other people, he just wanted to focus on Hao.

The company and support would be nice and relations did need to be formed between them and Hao's 'friends' if they were all going to co-exist. It was quite possible they wouldn't feel comfortable going there, or simply couldn't go. Either way, he wasn't going to make a huge fuss of it, the offer would be made as a courtesy, just as he would have to wait for Jian before the first open visit was made.

He owed the three of them a lot and he wasn't going to forget that just because he was finally getting what he wanted. Yoh had never been the sort to throw people aside just because the situation had changed. Yes he knew there had been neglect, but that wasn't the same as not caring about them, it was just a prolonged absence. He would speak to them soon enough and find out where things stood.

Walking into the dining room, Yoh greeted Ren and Jun as they all sat down for breakfast. Initially the conversation remained light, though it did move onto heavier subjects and Yoh explained the night's occurrences and his intent to visit Hao. Neither of them batted an eyelash at the subject and agreed to accompany him, since they would have to join him there regardless.

_As it turns out, it's rather a long trip to get to where Hao is, Ren's restless enough already and we're still on the flight, we have an hour or two to travel by road after we've landed as well. Hopefully he'll settle down, I don't think either Jun or I really want to put up with him acting like this for the next few hours._

_I'm a little restless myself but not anywhere near as badly as Ren and only because I'm excited. I'm still sat down acting normally, well, what was always considered normal for me, I could be rather energetic when I felt like it. It was usually one extreme or the other, lazy or hyper._

_I do feel like a kid in a candy store but there's no harm in being excited about everything finally falling into place. I've worked hard on this and it's finally paying off, I can't help feeling elated. Once I've seen him and we've been there in person I'm sure things will settle down again. A lot of it is curiosity I think, though the concept of a new beginning without being tied down by other people is definitely highly appealing._

"Ren, will you please sit down and behave yourself?" Jun asked after about fifteen minutes of him pacing.

Ren turned to look at her and opened his mouth to respond but seemed to think better of it and did as he was asked. "Sorry."

"We're all 'enthusiastic' about the possibilities Ren, but driving us mad pacing for the next few hours isn't going to make them pass any faster. Try to do something constructive instead."

Ren nodded, though Yoh and Jun shared a look to say the Ren was clueless at what he could do to pass the time. Thinking about it for a minute, Yoh came up with an idea and pitched it. "We could watch a movie, even if it's awful, it should still help pass the time and you can always pick flaws with it to occupy yourself?"

Jun nodded her agreement while Ren looked at him dubiously; upon realising there wasn't really a lot else they could do he consented and turned it on, praying that it wouldn't be too bad. Television and film wasn't really something he gave much heed to, but he wasn't usually this much in need of a distraction either. He supposed Yoh was right, he could do nothing but complain throughout, just to pass the time.

As it turned out, there were several options they could choose from, though given the content of most, Ren decided to choose the one with the slightly higher age rating. None of them were quite sure what to expect from the Korean film, but Ren was sure it couldn't be any worse than the other choices. Shiri wasn't a film any of them had heard of, though that wasn't really a surprise. While Yoh did pay more attention to media than the Tao siblings he wasn't overly knowledgeable in that department either.

Eventually the plane ride was over and they were on their way by road instead. They didn't have too much longer left now and discussions over the film had occupied them for the most part up to that point. It wasn't really the type of film Yoh would have chosen to watch, seeing an assassin running around killing people wasn't exactly to his tastes.

Surprisingly however, he had to admit that the film wasn't half bad and it had an interesting story to go along with it, as much as it was a half tragic love affair. There were definitely parts that were too gory for his liking, even if it was fake, he didn't like to see people getting hurt.

Soon enough the ride was over and they were walking the short distance between where they had left the car to where Hao was staying. It would be a lie if he said he wasn't feeling nervous, not that he was really sure why. He had seen and spoken to Hao, it wasn't as if this was the first contact they'd had, so it didn't make sense that he should be anxious about it but he couldn't deny that he was.

Ren had already teased him about it, though Jun had quickly reprimanded her brother for it. She apparently understood that it was a big deal, even if neither of them did. Yoh sighed, trying to calm himself down and get rid of the butterflies in his stomach. There was no point in worrying about nothing and Hao would be waiting to welcome him, he was always excited by the prospect when he slept, so why was it different being awake?

_This is so stupid, what am I panicking for now? I've been excited the rest of the time, so why now that we're so close am I so antsy? I want to see him, I want us to go to our new world, which really needs a name, and I want to help him with the reishi. I've seen him a few times now and I've never been like this, so why does being face-to-face make so much of a difference?_

"Not bad." Ren muttered and Yoh look up to see the country manor his brother was apparently staying in.

Yoh nodded and carried on walking towards the building. Knocking on the door he waited for someone to answer. Mari opened the door and Yoh smiled warmly before greeting her. "Hi Mari, can we come in?"

"Yoh-sama. Yes, you're expected, please come in." Mari replied.

Yoh looked back to Ren and Jun before entering, glancing around briefly before focusing on Hao. To his relief Hao looked to be as unsure as he was as to how to act, so at least it wasn't just him. It made him feel better and took the edge off to see the same feelings in his usually confident sibling. Shaking his head, Yoh walked over to Hao and hugged him, the act seemed to surprise Hao but after that wore off he returned the embrace.

"Hi." Yoh said softly as he stepped back out of the embrace.

"It's good to see you; and welcome to the two of you as well." Hao replied.

Ren and Jun nodded but remained silent, leaving the focus on the twins instead. Yoh smiled reassuringly as Hanagumi led them into another room, Hao not wasting any time after that to pull him into another room as well. Yoh let Hao lead him, surprised when they ended up in a bedroom.

Hao noticed Yoh's questioning gaze and shrugged. "Privacy. Despite the size of this place there aren't many areas to go to be left alone."

Yoh grinned and nodded, that didn't come as a surprise. "I see. It feels strange to be here, to see you in person; it makes everything that bit more real I suppose."

"I know, still, we're past that now aren't we?"

"Yeah, well, hopefully anyway."

Hao smiled and pulled Yoh into a loose embrace, sitting them both on the bed. "So, you know how we get there?"

"Yes, though that won't be until tonight. For now it's either catch-up or reishi?"

"While it would probably be a better idea to focus on the latter, I think I'll choose the former."

Yoh smiled and nodded, spending quality time together definitely sounded like a good idea to him right now. It felt so comfortable sat there like that, building their relationship up was something he wanted and it seemed that Hao did as well. Besides, he was sure they were both due a break.

_It's almost surreal sitting here with him, it's such a normal thing to do that it feels completely abnormal. Hao and I have never really had a relationship, so to be spending time together just talking is something I'd never expected. Back then, when I learnt of Hao and what he had done, and was continuing to do, I would never have believed something like this could happen._

_I'm not complaining of course far from it, since 'that' happened I've very much wanted this. Some things no matter how badly you want, you never really believe you'll get, I guess this was one of those things. It has happened though and it's wonderful, to be so relaxed and at ease, to see no signs of the madness and hatred so prevalent before, I wouldn't give this up for anything._

_I can't believe how open and honest he's being, the things he's telling me…still, I needed to understand the truth of everything that happened, how he came to be that person. I guess he must understand that, or maybe he just needed someone to talk to about it. With so little time spent with him I guess I don't really know him too well. That is what this is about though isn't it, getting to know one another._

_I don't care what they think anymore, I've grown up, learnt a lot and I know what's right. Hao has changed and this cycle can finally come to an end, I can finally have a brother, I can finally feel whole and like I belong. It doesn't matter to me if they choose to throw me aside or condemn me for this, we're not staying on this world for long and I have everyone I need right here._

Yoh shook his head clearing his thoughts, that didn't matter for now. Hao was meant to have all his attention, not random thoughts. This was something he had wanted for a long time and it would be foolish to waste the experience because his mind chose to wander. It was better listening to Hao's stories anyway, they were interesting and explained so much about the other and how he thought and felt.

Yoh shifted on the bed, realising too late just how close to the edge he had been. Instinctively he grabbed Hao, who was the nearest 'object' hoping to prevent his fall. Unfortunately for them both, Hao was not braced to suddenly support both their weight and they invariably both ended up tumbling to the floor.

It took a minute for them to come back to their senses, only to wish that they hadn't. They both moved away from each other hastily, turning crimson almost instantly. The position they had landed in was rather intimate and the fact that lips were pressed against lips didn't help matters in the least.

"I, uh, sorry about that, I slipped and…" Yoh muttered.

Hao nodded slightly. "Accidents happen."

Both boys sat in awkward silence, not really sure what to say or how to change subjects to remove the uncomfortable situation. It had been a complete accident and they both knew that, but it wasn't that simple. They both also knew how their bodies reacted to it and that was where the problem lay. How were you supposed to just get over and ignore the fact that, accidental or not, you had shared a kiss with a sibling and found yourself wanting more?


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews as always. Hope you enjoy. Laters.

* * *

Yoh and Hao were both quiet throughout the evening meal, much to the confusion of everyone else. Kanna bluntly asked what had happened but Hao had brushed the mattered aside while Yoh had lowered his face to hide the blush that returned. They needed to talk about it; they both knew that, it was just trying to find the words.

Generally Ren and the girls had chosen to ignore the apparent awkwardness and chatted amongst themselves, presumably as they had been doing since they had split up earlier that afternoon. Yoh was glad for that much at least, he wasn't sure if they would all get along given the history, but everyone seemed to be intent on letting the past go and starting anew.

_I don't know what to do, it won't be much longer until the door opens and we can go there but things are so uncomfortable between us right now it'll ruin it completely. How do we get over what happened though? If Hao is so bothered by this as well, does that mean he felt the same as I did, or is it that he felt my feelings because of the reishi and doesn't know to interact with me now?_

_This is the problem with empathy, you can never be sure of what they know or not and whether their reactions are because of their own thoughts and feelings or yours. Still, I can't leave things as they are, maybe I'll just have to be outright about the whole thing. It's not as if I've ever thought about anything like that, it was just a reaction because of the position, it doesn't necessarily mean anything._

_I'm just not sure, I mean, I couldn't possibly want something like that from him, right? But those feelings…could it really be a misunderstanding when it was so strong? I just don't know, but I do know that I want us to get along and not spoil everything we've worked for so far. No matter what, things need to be okay between us before we go there._

_Well, the meal is over and we've been left alone again. I'm not really sure that Hao wants me back in his room again but it can't be helped I don't suppose. I can't believe I was such a klutz in the first place, if I hadn't done something so stupid we wouldn't be in this mess. I don't want us to fall out…_

Yoh sighed softly as he closed the door behind him; he still wasn't really sure what he could say. He turned to face Hao only to find himself pushed back against the door, lips on his own. Shock stopped him for a minute before he hungrily returned the kiss. Thought went out the window in favour of desire, though Hao eventually pulled back before it went too far.

Gently Hao took Yoh's hand and led him to sit on the bed, much as they had been earlier. "Well that answers that…"

"Mm. Are we okay now? I don't want us to fall out." Yoh asked, concern lacing his tone.

"I know you don't; if nothing else I could feel that clearly. We're interacting again, so I'm sure we'll be fine. It's strange to want something like that so suddenly, maybe it's nothing, but as long as we both feel the same way, there's nothing wrong."

"I don't think most people would agree with you on that, there's plenty wrong with making out with a close family member. Though I suppose society's laws aren't really going to mean a whole lot to us soon, right? We'll be making our own rules."

Hao grinned. "You certainly have changed Yoh, though not as much as they all think. Yes, we can walk our own path without fools bearing down on us. I can't comment on your friends, but I know the girls won't think anything of this."

"Hanagumi accept anything you do, I don't know about Ren and Jun, things have changed with them as well, they seem to be a lot more accepting of things now. We'll have to wait and see what happens I guess."

"It won't be much longer now until the gateway opens. Are you ready to go to your creation?"

Yoh smiled softly. "After all that hard work, of course I am."

Lips met lips again, though much gentler than the last time. This time it was more inquisitive, while being comforting and reassuring. Yoh thought maybe that should seem odd, but he had been physically close to Hao since to two of them had met up again. It was okay to be close, to find comfort in a physical connection. Of course that had just been leaning on him, not anything as deviant as this, it still felt the same as that though.

The boys pulled back slightly, Hao running a hand down the side of Yoh's face. It wasn't necessarily that type of love, he didn't know for sure, but it was a strong bond that bound them together. They were different from everyone else; there were too many complexities to be able to define their connection. It would be hard to understand or accept but it was what it was.

He didn't know if there was any lust or sexual impulses involved, he supposed it was too soon to understand this sudden and unusual need. All he knew for certain was that he wanted to be close to Hao, as he had done for a long time. Whether it had moved on to love and sexual interest, time would tell, but for now it didn't matter, as long as they were together, everything was fine.

Yoh smiled softly, laying down and bring Hao with him so he could cuddle into him. That was all either of them had ever really wanted, not to be alone, to have someone close by that they could always count on for love and support. No matter if this new interaction was real or a mistake, they had what their hearts had always desired.

"Maybe we should talk to the others? They're probably worried, given the way we were both acting." Yoh queried, voice muffled against Hao's chest.

"We'll talk to them later, once we get back. As long as they see that everything is fine between us, it should suffice." Hao replied, running his hand through Yoh's hair.

"Yeah, guess it's a little difficult to explain the situation when we're still unsure ourselves. Daijobu datte, nantoka naru."

Hao smiled at the response. "Some things never change then. It should all work out now though, regardless. Even if they do try to take action, in theory you should be able to close the link-way."

"Hopefully it will be that simple, I don't want to fight anymore."

"We can make it that simple; we've both achieved some amazing things, so finding some peace for ourselves shouldn't be that hard."

"Yeah, we can do that, after everything that's happened, it's about time something changed. There are enough people in the world who want change, who want to let go of their binds, just like us."

Yoh felt Hao smile and tighten his arms around him, one person was happy with him at least. He wasn't really sure what would happen from here on out, not that he was sure it really mattered. It wouldn't be as interesting or as much fun without other people around, but if it ended up being just Hao and him alone in that place it would be okay. As long as they were safe and the cycle ended, nothing else mattered.

_The girls and the Tao siblings are here, they all want this too, so does Jian, so there will be a few of us living there, it's just whether anyone else joins us. It's hard to know how to go about it, whether to just let it spread through word-of-mouth or whether to invite people. I don't want people there who are going to ruin it but at the same time I don't want to deny people either._

_I guess that's just another thing to add to the growing list of things to decide once the situation occurs. Nearly everything seems to be that way recently, well I suppose it's a bit too long a period to call recently but I know what I mean. Anyway, I'll deal with whatever as and when I need to, I'm not going to waste time worrying about any of it._

_I can't decide between being overly excited and completely relaxed, how that works I don't know, but apparently it is possible. It's so close now, for us to be able to go there for real, not just in dreams, but it's so comfortable and secure being held by him. I'm thoroughly confused but I don't think it's in a bad way and there's not really a lot I can do about it anyway._

"Yoh, time to wake up." Hao stated gently.

"Wake up? I fell asleep?" Yoh asked, not aware he'd been asleep.

"Yes, you did. It's time now, whenever you're ready."

Yoh sat up and looked at the time and sure enough it was later than what he thought it should have been. He couldn't complain really, it meant that he didn't have to sit around waiting for the time to pass. Hao was clearly amused by his reaction but Yoh didn't mind that either, he much preferred the lighter, happier side of his brother.

Standing up, Yoh offered his hand to Hao, it was time to find a suitable place to open the gateway, though he expected Hao already had somewhere in mind. Hao nodded and accepted Yoh's offered appendage, taking the lead. Soon enough Yoh found himself outside by a small pool with a waterfall feeding it. The location was beautiful and definitely suitable. Yoh smiled and moved towards the water, ready to open the path to their new lives.

The gateway opened up behind the waterfall as Yoh had intended. He hoped that it wouldn't be so obvious to anyone passing by, not that he thought it was the kind of place people walked past regularly. Looking back at Hao, Yoh motioned for him to join him before stepping into the water and swimming towards the small rocky ledge behind the waterfall.

He wasn't really sure that Hao would be particularly thrilled by the prospect of getting wet, but he didn't mind swimming in a beautiful pool, fully clothed or not. Of course, it was quite feasible that Hao would just use his shaman abilities and not get wet at all. It wouldn't really surprise him if Hao did that but he rather hoped his brother would forgo pride and just do something more fun.

Yes he could ignore nature and the inconveniences she could cause but where was the fun in that? It was better to go along with nature and enjoy the gifts that it had to offer. Hao had lost the concept of fun a long time past, everything was about achieving his goals and any inconvenience was removed without consideration or hesitation.

Things were different now though; Hao had found himself again and had showed a happier and more playful side to himself. He was trying to really live, or so it seemed to Yoh, so hopefully he would consider things in a different light now. Really it was up to Hao and it didn't matter either way, Yoh just wanted to see Hao let go and enjoy himself.

Yoh jumped when he felt a pair of arms slide around his waist and turned to see Hao treading water behind him. Yoh smiled softly, while Hao had put his hair up out of the way beforehand, he had come into the pool willingly. Lips met again briefly and Yoh pouted when Hao pulled back so quickly, Hao simply smiled at the gesture and kissed his forehead instead.

Not being able to decide between smiling and continuing to pout, Yoh turned around and pulled himself up onto the ledge, moving aside to allow Hao to get out of the water as well. Hao took Yoh's hand as they stood in front of the portal. Both boys smiled and nodded before stepping through it.

_Finally, I've got where I've wanted to be for so long and Hao is with me too. I never realised that things could feel so absolutely perfect but that's exactly how it is. I may have to give up a lot and as I'm responsible for this place things may get difficult but I'm not alone, any burdens I have to face will be shared, just as I'll help with any they have, everything is finally falling into place. Right now, I don't think I could be any happier._


	14. Chapter 14

Now, before you even start reading, don't worry, nothing bad is going on - 3 more weeks to go! Laters.

* * *

Yoh smiled brightly as they materialised in the world he had been helping to grow for so long. Being there in the flesh was completely different to in his dreams but it was exactly what he had hoped it would be. It was a wonderful feeling to be there and that was made even better by the fact that Hao was at his side.

He wasn't really surprised that they had appeared by the rock face not far from the lake; given it was the most similar feature between both locations. There was a small stream that ran over the miniature cliff edge but there wasn't the pool present like the one they had swam through however.

"It's beautiful Yoh; you've done an amazing job. I know we've seen it before, but this is the first time it can really be judged." Hao stated softly.

Yoh nodded. "I know, I was thinking the same myself. We're finally here…"

Hao wrapped his arms around Yoh, gently but supportively. Yoh leaned into the embrace; enjoying the feeling of contentment he always seemed to feel we he was close to his brother. It was perfect, being together and having a new start in a new world. It wasn't going to be a fairytale but it was a chance to be happy, rather than forever longing for something lost.

Hao let go of Yoh, taking his hand instead. Yoh knew where they were going as soon as Hao started walking, that one spot beside the lake was where all their dealings had taken place. That had quite easily become his favourite place here and apparently Hao held the same sentiments for the place that he did.

_We probably shouldn't stay too long; the others will be waiting, though I don't suppose the others can really be brought here until Jian arrives. It wouldn't be fair not to let him be part of the first public showing after all the help he's given me, especially given I know how important it is to him. This phenomenon has been his life's study after all._

_Ren probably isn't going to like waiting but he knows what the situation is, so as much as he may complain, I know he's okay with it really, since he agreed knowing full well Jian was first in line after Hao and I had gone. Unless he gets distracted by something else I can't see him not passing comments though, that's just how Ren is._

"We can stay here permanently, right?" Yoh asked suddenly.

Hao looked back at him and smiled. "Yes Yoh, you already know that. Everything is fine now, don't worry."

Yoh nodded, looking a little sheepish, he knew that the world was fully sustainable and very much real; he just needed someone else to tell him as much. It was too easy to get wrapped up in things and Hao had looked into that side of things far more than he had. It was just the reassurance he wanted, the words that acknowledged that his efforts had paid off.

They arrived at the lakeside and Hao sat down, bringing Yoh to sit beside him. Yoh leaned against Hao's shoulder, as was quickly becoming habit, and looked out over the lake. It was the first time they had been there together during daylight hours, though the evening was quickly drawing to a close and the sun would be setting in the not too distant future.

"Hao, can we train for a little?" Yoh queried.

"You're worried?" Hao asked softly in response.

"A little. It's been too easy so far, given how unhappy they were about it all. I'd rather not take any unnecessary risks."

"That's understandable after coming all this way; of course we can, though it will be strange learning from you, rather than the other way around."

Yoh grinned, he could understand that. Hao had been the major authority in shamanism for a long time, taking instruction from someone else would be an unusual experience. He wasn't sure that Hao had ever really been taught, he knew Matamune had helped him out, but he wasn't sure if most of what Hao could do had been self-taught.

_I don't really know all that much about Hao, we've talked and he's told me stories, but there's still a lot that I don't really know or understand. I don't mind that, I know it's important not to know everything about a person; still, I'm not sure that I should be guessing about things like that. Though really, I don't suppose it should matter, it was a long time ago and who cares how it was learnt?_

_It will be difficult though, trying to figure out how I'm supposed to teach this to him. Still, we'll figure something out between us I'm sure, or Hao may know what to do already. He knows so much more than I do, so it's quite possible he knows what to do to get the information he needs. Certainly the quicker and easier he learns it the better._

_He does seem to know what he's doing, so I'll just do as I'm told and let him get on with it. If it can be learnt now, before we have to leave and risk any chance of bumping into our family then I'll have a lot less to worry about. Chances are that we're not going to have a lot of time to do anything about it for a while, given everything else that's going on, so hopefully a little time now will be all that's needed._

_I'm not quite sure what he's done but it feels very strange and I'm not entirely sure that I'm comfortable with it. I appreciate that a direct link to my knowledge is the quickest way to learn, but it feels like a complete invasion of my privacy. It isn't that I have anything to hide from him, I don't but I don't know, I think maybe a person should have something for themselves._

"I can stop if you want me to; we can try more conventional means?" Hao asked softly.

Yoh remained laying down with his eyes closed. "No, if we can do this now and get it over with then that's best."

"I don't want to make you so uncomfortable, are you sure Yoh?"

"Yes, it's okay, just do it. The quicker we're done the better."

_I'm glad he asked, though I don't like it being so obvious to him that I'm uneasy about this. I hope he doesn't think it has anything to do with trust, hopefully he'll understand that it's just the way people react to the feeling of being scrutinised. Hopefully this won't take too much longer, though I know Hao won't do it any longer than he needs to either way._

_I wonder how long we've been here for; I know it should run on the same linear time that Earth does, but that doesn't really help me right now. Lying here pretty much spaced out hasn't helped any with knowing how much time has or hasn't passed either. Nothing feels tethered to any rules and I'm too out of it to be able to pay any attention to the world outside my head. Honestly, absolutely anything could be happening and I wouldn't know the first thing about it, even things done to me._

_It's kind of scary, but it's only the two of us and I'm sure he wouldn't hurt me, so it's okay, it's just the sense of complete helplessness that's off-putting. I can't even really feel him anymore, but equally he's everywhere, I guess I must have gotten used to the sensation so it isn't overbearing like it was before. Still, I hope it ends soon…_

Yoh opened his eyes slowly, feeling like he'd been in a very deep sleep for a very long time. It was dark now, the stars were twinkling brightly above him, though that didn't tell him the time, nor how long they had been there. Hao was off somewhere to his side, he could feel the other's presence but had no intention of attempting to move or talk quite yet, he still didn't feel right.

He heard Hao move beside him and felt a hand brushing through his hair a few moments later. Taking his eyes off the stars he looked back to where he assumed his brother would be sitting. Hao smiled apologetically, still petting Yoh's hair gently. Yoh closed his eyes again, hoping it would help him recover faster. Hao remained at his side trying to sooth him, for which Yoh was grateful, not that it meant he was going to let the issue slide once he was feeling better; Hao definitely had some explaining to do.

After what felt like forever, Yoh started feeling better and finally sat up, all attention on his brother. Hao sighed and nodded, knowing all too well that Yoh wanted answers and wasn't going to give up. He knew it was only fair to explain since Yoh had allowed him to do it, despite his disquiet, but it was still a lot of hassle.

Hao pulled Yoh to him, allowing Yoh to lean against him, rather than let him try to support himself, he knew it would be a little while longer before Yoh felt completely right in himself. He explained slowly what he had done and why it had affected Yoh the way it had, judging on Yoh's reaction as to how much detail was required. It took about five minutes to explain everything to a satisfactory level in the end, much to Hao's relief.

Once the explanation was over, Yoh pulled away and stood up, walking closer to the water's edge. At least he understood what had happened, and he knew for certain Hao could block the reishi now. Whether it was something he would choose to do permanently or whether he would turn it on and off as it suited him, Yoh couldn't be sure, though he hoped for the former; it had caused far too many problems.

"We should head back." Yoh stated blandly, the experience having left him feeling exhausted.

"Yes, it's getting late, the others will be waiting." Hao replied, though his tone lacked his usual confidence.

Yoh turned to face his brother, not missing the look of gilt that flashed in his eyes. Yoh shook his head. "I'm not angry with you, I'm just tired. The knowledge was learnt and it isn't as if I got hurt, so don't worry about it. I agreed to do whatever needed to be done; you didn't force me, so relax."

Hao nodded and walked over to Yoh, taking a hand in his. "Then let's get you to bed, everything else can wait until morning."

_I really do feel completely drained; it's hard to keep my eyes open. From Hao's explanation of it, that does make perfect sense, so I'm not concerned, I'm just glad that it's over. Hopefully everything will wait until morning because I don't think that I could stay awake much longer if I tried. I'm sure Hao can answer any immediate questions or concerns if there are any._

_I'm not really sure that I want to go back, and even less so about trying to swim back to shore once we go back through the portal. Hao will make sure I don't drown or do something stupid, not that I think I can expend the effort to dry myself rather than just collapsing to sleep as soon as we're back. I know I mustn't go to sleep soaking wet though, I'll make myself ill if I do._

_Well, that certainly makes things easier. I know I was complaining earlier about Hao using shaman abilities rather than swimming, but right now it suits me perfectly. I'm not sure him carrying me is a good idea given that trying to stay away is difficult enough when I have to support my own weight, but I'm not going to complain about staying dry._

Hao set Yoh down gently on the bed. As much as he would rather have Yoh with him, he knew it was too early to be doing things like that; it would cause too many questions to be raised. Settling him down he explained that Yoh had tired himself out teaching Hao to block the reishi and left it at that.

Yoh agreed with Hao's comments as and when he needed to as Ren was understandably not happy, but once Yoh confirmed the comments he settled down and accepted it. He was too tired for arguments and questions, he just wanted to sleep. Eventually the fuss was over and with a gentle goodnight Hao left him to his slumber, everyone else having the consideration to follow suit and not disturb him.


	15. Chapter 15

Yoh woke feeling much better than he had, though looking at the position of the sun he had slept for most of the day, so he would be worried if he didn't feel refreshed. Even though Hao had explained, he still wondered exactly what had been done to him for him to have needed to sleep for so long. It didn't make sense to him that sharing his knowledge should exhaust him so much.

Getting up languidly, Yoh tried to make out the different energies he could feel, normally it was easy but everything still felt fuzzy, so it was somewhat more difficult. Eventually he decided that location of everyone he knew was the foyer, though that was more than just Hao, Hanagumi and the Tao siblings.

_I can't quite decide who's here; I'm not with it enough yet to pick things out clearly. I can't even figure out the numbers, I managed the six I knew were here, but aside from that it's just a mass of different energies. I know Jian is set to come but I also know that there is definitely more than one new person here. If my family had found us though, it wouldn't be so quiet._

_I don't know whether to go out and see who's here and what's going on, or whether to wait until I'm feeling a little more in control of my abilities. I'm surprised really that Ren hasn't caused any grief with me having been out of it for so long, he can get rather loud and obnoxious when he's worried. That could have happened while I was sleeping though I guess; Hao would have dealt with it okay, just like he did last night._

_Maybe none of this is to do with what happened with Hao, my senses and shaman abilities always go funny when I go there, so maybe this is a side effect of that visit. I don't really suppose it matters either way as long as I'm alright and I am really, it's just strange having everything dulled down. This must be almost like a non-shaman experiences things I guess; I can't imagine living in such a closed existence._

Deciding it was about time he put in an appearance, whatever might be going on, Yoh slipped on some clothes and made his way downstairs. Jian was there, but so were a lot of other shamans he had never met before. He wondered if Jian had spoken to them, but couldn't understand why Jian wouldn't have mentioned something to him.

Hao was unsurprisingly the first to notice him but it didn't take long for all attention to shift onto him. Yoh tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that being the centre of attention had created and walked over to Hao. The murmurs were clear enough, which confirmed that they were definitely all here because of that place and suddenly Yoh found himself being viewed in very high regard.

Hao smiled teasingly, knowing all too well that the last thing Yoh wanted was reverence, like it or not however, he had achieved something incredible and people were going to be in awe over it. The anomaly had never been successfully harnessed before, not even to the stage Yoh had unintentionally arrived at to start designing it, so a finished product was astonishing.

Yoh pouted slightly and leaned against his brother, glad when Hao wrapped an arm around him supportively. He'd never really given any thought to how people might treat him because of it, Hao, Ren, Jun and Jian had never really treated him any differently to what he was used to. Granted he had been surprised that Jian treated him as an equal, but that was nothing like this.

Eventually Jian stepped forward and addressed Yoh. "I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, I know you prefer things to be easy-going. Give it some time, but you will have to get used to the idea of people being awestruck by your achievement."

Yoh sighed and nodded. "Yes, I understand this is a big deal."

Hao ran a hand through Yoh's hair and in return Yoh snuggled deeper into Hao's chest. He probably shouldn't be relying on Hao so much for support but he didn't much care, it felt good being so close to his twin and it helped ebb away the feeling of disquiet. They would have to accept that Yoh didn't intend to play some strong, silent leader; he just wanted a happy and peaceful life with Hao.

Aside from wanting to see it with their own eyes, they shouldn't really have any questions about it, Jian knew more than enough about it to explain things to them. He only hoped that Jian knew them all well enough to trust them going there, being rather reclusive, he wondered just how well he could account for their personalities. It was awful to question such things really, but Yoh definitely found himself feeling protective of that place.

"I can always use the reishi for vetting if you're worried? I know you don't want me to use it anymore, but if it would give you piece of mind…" Hao muttered softly in Yoh's ear.

Yoh shook his head slightly, as tempting as he found the offer, he wasn't going to have Hao use it after everything that had happened. "Thank you, but I'd rather it stay sealed. It wouldn't be right anyway."

Hao nodded and kissed Yoh's head lightly, he had expected that response but the offer needed to be made all the same, he didn't need the reishi to read Yoh's concern. Yoh sighed again, he had questioned before how to tell who should or shouldn't be allowed to go through but he was still no closer to an answer.

"Yoh…" Ren started and Yoh knew all too well what he wanted.

Pulling away from Hao slightly to face his friend Yoh nodded, grinning. "I know, I know, you've been kept waiting long enough."

Ren huffed indignantly and Jun smiled, stifling a giggle, some things never changed it seemed. Yoh smiled and accented that they could go now. He could tell that Hao wasn't thrilled by the idea, which he presumed was because he wanted Yoh to rest more before risking any further strain.

_I wonder if Hao told them where I put the portal. I can't see Ren not complaining about getting wet, even if he doesn't really mind. I know Hao is concerned about me and I'm pretty sure he's considered that at least part of what's wrong with me is because of our visit last night. I guess neither of us really knows for sure how it might affect me, if it can or should at all._

_Still, this is what I wanted and what I've worked so hard for, I'm not going to back out now. It wouldn't be fair to make them wait any longer, they've been patient for this long, it's only fair to let them go. I need to spend some time checking everything through and ensuring the sustainability. Really I want to go and stay, not keep having to go backwards and forwards and if the strain on me is purely down to that then we won't have anything to worry about._

"Don't push yourself too hard Yoh." Hao stated softly, knowing only Yoh would hear.

Yoh nodded slightly, tightening his grip on Hao's hand. "I know, I'll be careful. It won't be long now, will it?"

"No, it doesn't feel like it will be too much longer, so you're going to need your strength."

"Maybe they'll surprise us."

"Don't hold your breath."

Yoh stopped himself from laughing though a grin still spread across his face, he'd expected a similar response but the way Hao had said it wasn't what he'd expected. He was glad that Hao was making light of the situation however, it made him feel better. Hao believing that everything would be okay gave him added assurance.

"Or I'll pass out or something, right? I don't expect them to understand, they're not willing to accept anything outside of the sphere they've created. I'd still rather have some hope that they'll be able to get past their anger, hatred and pride and see that things have changed."

"I know; you don't want things to end badly. As long as you're prepared for things to go sour, that's good enough for me. You know I'll support you as best I can, though staying out of it may be the best thing I can do."

"It's difficult, isn't it? Still, all we can do is try our best and see what happens. Nantoka naru."

Hao smiled and nodded, squeezing Yoh's hand reassuringly. As much as he may have knocked Yoh's signature phrase initially, it seemed to work well for him, things tended to work out for him in the end. Maybe that was all there was to the illusion called life, perception was the key to everything, especially happiness.

Yoh stifled a grin at the disconcerted reaction that generally seemed to permeate through the group once they arrived at the pool. Hao smirked wickedly and Yoh knew he had every intention of walking straight over it just to wind them up. From Jun's attire, he could only presume Hao had forewarned them, he would be worried about Jun trying to swim in her usual style of dress.

Hao offered his hand to Yoh, but the latter shook his head. As it had on the way there yesterday, swimming sounded like a good idea. He hoped it would make him feel a little more awake and a little less fuzzy, though whether that could work since it wasn't down to normal circumstances and side effects he wasn't really sure. He watched Hao walk over, neither of them missing the mild indignant reaction Hao had intended to cause before gladly jumping in the water himself.

Macchi wasn't far behind him, not that it really surprised either of them that she was happy enough playing around, Kanna and Mari followed suit and swam across as well. By the time Yoh had reached the other side Ren and Jun had taken the plunge as well but Jian and those who had come with him were still stood at the edge.

Hao helped Yoh out before they both helped Hanagumi out as well. Given Jian's enthusiasm for seeing the world with his own eyes, Yoh was surprised to see him hesitating because of a little water. Yoh supposed it was possible that he was just waiting for the others, or was trying to coerce them.

Yoh sent Hao ahead with Hanagumi, Ren and Jun since the ledge wasn't really big enough to hold everyone, even though he had wanted to be there to see their reaction. After what looked like a squabble, a bridge of snow was formed over the pool and the group made their way across.

Yoh frowned slightly; something seemed off with the whole thing, he knew the elders could be cantankerous but this was more than that and really, for elders they weren't all that elderly, some were barely older than him. There was something more going on, he was sure of that. Jian seemed troubled as well, though Yoh wasn't sure whether it was for the same reasons.

Sighing softly and trying to hide his malcontent, Yoh moved aside slightly to give them a little more room, even though he wasn't really sure he wanted to allow them entry. They had been so adoring in the house but now, their attitude seemed to have changed completely. Yoh didn't really feel comfortable being alone with them but there wasn't a lot he could do about that now.

One of the younger members of the group stepped forward and attempted to step through the portal, only to be repelled by it. Everyone stood dumbstruck momentarily before all attention turned to Yoh. Shrugging to convey his own confusion, Yoh turned back to the portal and approached it himself, receiving no adverse reaction to it.

_Maybe I don't have to worry about who should be let in or not, it seems to be quite capable of deciding for itself. Unless it happened because I'm not sure about them, it's always responded to my will thus far. They don't seem the least bit happy about it though, thankfully I don't have far to move if I need to go through in a hurry at least._

"Sorry, I don't know what's going on." Yoh stated softly, looking more at Jian than anyone else.

Jian nodded. "It can't be helped, something is evidently wrong."

Yoh nodded, not really sure what to do. He didn't want to stay there with them, he was sure of that, but he couldn't exactly leave them there either. There was no reasonable excuse for him to go through by himself, except to call the others back, but that would still leave the problem of what to do about them, not that he trusted them enough to leave them alone either.

Feeling the portal shift behind him, Yoh looked back, relieved to see Hao. Stepping forward slightly Hao moved close enough to wrap his arms around Yoh from behind. Yoh leaned back into the embrace, glad for the support, he was quite sure that Hao knew what was going on, even without the reishi.

That was when he felt it and understood what was going on. Hao tensed behind him and pulled him backwards into the portal as quickly as he could, though not before he saw the house Hao had been living in combust in an explosion of flames. He was sure anyone who had been inside was killed instantly.

Yoh didn't notice their arrival to safety, nor his friends surrounding him, all he could do was think about what he had just seen. His family had set the whole thing up, killing those people without a care. They apparently couldn't see that they weren't acting any differently than Hao had, or they just didn't care.

They had sent the others to see what the situation was between him and Hao and that was when things had changed, when they deemed he had fallen. From that point on it became about killing them and anyone who followed them. Yoh didn't feel the tears running down his face, nor the protective embrace Hao held him in, he only felt the pain of betrayal and disappointment.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it's late, I've been at my sister's. Hope it was worth the wait...

* * *

No one else had come through the portal since Hao had taken Yoh through; a few hours had passed since then, though Yoh still had yet to acknowledge anyone. Hao had moved him away from the portal, while they had stayed by it in case someone followed. Yoh had wandered off not long after that, not that he was sure if anyone had noticed, no one had come looking at least.

_Hao probably knows it's best to leave me alone anyway, it isn't as if there's anything to be afraid of here, there aren't any other people around. I can't believe they did that, how could they act like that?! All this complaining about Hao and they pull a stunt like that? Hypocrites! I feel so sick… They would have killed me too, I'm sure of it. They did seem interested in what I'd achieved all the same; maybe they wanted to see it once for themselves first._

_How can people so easily take the lives of others? How can my family possibly justify that act? They were Hao's followers, 'you've been manipulated by Hao, Hao's dangerous and must be stopped at all costs'; they're all such pathetic excuses. It isn't reason enough to do it, how can they reduce the value of human lives so drastically for such stupid reasons?_

_They're no different than he was, blindly murdering whoever stands against their ideals. It hurts…I can't believe that…how could they? No, it's time to stop this; I've been sat here sulking for I don't know how many hours. I've always distanced myself from this side of them and if it's going to take predominance then I'll just have to take that a step further; those people are not my family, I disown their existence._

Yoh returned to where everyone was sat in close parameter to the portal, there were a few questioning and concerned looks but no one said anything. Chances were he looked awful, he had certainly been crying enough for that to be true. Brushing that thought aside he settled down with Hao, nuzzling into the others neck. Hao wrapped his arms around him, not hesitating to offer the comfort Yoh wanted from him.

"Sorry." Yoh muttered softly, though loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Are you okay now Yoh-sama?" Macchi asked gently.

"Aa. I hadn't expected my-, no, them, to do something like that, it took me a while to sort everything out in my head, but I'm fine now."

"You're not going to consider them family anymore? Is that what you're saying?" Kanna asked bluntly.

Yoh nodded, not moving from where he was still snuggled into Hao. "I think that would be the best thing to do, yes."

"Mari wonders if Yoh-sama could really do that." Mari murmured softly.

Yoh smiled, it was true that it was easier said than done, but he had to try. "Maybe never completely, but I can sever most of my ties. I can't believe in them or trust them anymore and if they're going to continue acting that way I want nothing to do with them. They may be happy being hypocritical but I'm not."

Hao kissed his head, another offer of support but also an acknowledgement that he was proud of him. "We're here now, this is our home, it doesn't matter."

Everyone nodded their agreement without hesitation; this was what they had all wanted, even if most had tried to obtain it by spilling blood. They had relented that those methods were wrong and had accepted another path. Yoh was sure now that the portal would only allow those through who felt the same way they did, who wanted peace and a new start, who wanted to let go of the world they had lived and the darkness within it.

_I'm surprised no one has commented on the fact that I've been clinging to Hao since I woke up. Surely it must look a little odd? He and I have barely had any dealings with each other and the ones we had before were all bad, so how they can accept so much physical contact all of a sudden is beyond me, especially given how we were acting in their presence before we came here last night._

_I can't complain of course, I don't really want to get into that right now. Maybe that's why they haven't said anything, because I've got enough going on already without having aggravation over that. None of them are stupid though, maybe they understand the situation and are just willing to let us get on with it and work things out for ourselves._

_Unfortunately I think facing 'them' is going to be unavoidable, we're going to need to go back and I want a chance to speak to the others with Hao so they can make their own decision of whether or not they think I'm doing the right thing and whether or not they want to come here, even if it's just to look. I should really see Amidamaru too, I keep going off without him and it isn't fair of me._

_Things are going to get complicated if we leave here though; the chances are high that they'll be waiting for us. We can't really sit on this side inevitably either though, and being on guard and uptight wasn't really the idea. Things haven't worked out quite as well, but it has been better than what I'd hoped for the most part and I did expect this to happen._

Sighing softly Yoh snuggled more tightly against Hao, he really hated atmospheres like this, why people seemed to find it so hard to accept things, trust others and generally get along with one another was beyond him. Life wasn't meant to be so difficult, somewhere along the way things had gone seriously wrong with what society and people in general expected.

"We are going to have to go back and deal with though really, aren't we? This was always intended as just a visit; too many things need to be sorted out before we can really settle here permanently." Yoh stated, not really wanting to voice his thoughts.

"I suppose that depends on each person and how much they're willing to leave behind. Yes bringing some comforts would be nice and would make things more convenient but there's nothing that I absolutely have to leave for." Hao replied, leaving it open for everyone else to really think about it.

"There are things Jun and I need to collect if we're to continue our Taoism and of course my sister left Lee Pailong at home and would need to bring him back here with us." Ren stated for them both.

"Nothing important for us." Kanna responded for Hanagumi.

Yoh nodded. "I have to go back; there are too many things I shouldn't ignore, no one else needs to leave because someone else is though."

Hao kissed Yoh's head again. "As if I'm going to let you go out there alone, knowing all too well what's likely to happen."

Yoh pressed his lips against Hao's without really thinking about it but soon pulled back at the sound of a few muffled gasps. Hao ignored the reactions and ran his hand through Yoh's hair, trying to ease Yoh back out of the uncomfortable embarrassment he had landed himself in.

Yoh wasn't really sure what to do, part of him wanted to snuggle into Hao and 'hide' against him, while another part wanted to move away from him and run away from the situation. Hao made the decision for him when he pulled Yoh back against him. Yoh soon clung to him, not really wanting to face the others.

"So that's what the 'not talking to each other' situation was all about, because that happened and you didn't know what to do about it? So what does this mean, are you a couple?" Ren asked calmly, his voice not betraying any emotions.

"Yes, that's why we were behaving that way and we don't know yet. This isn't really about anything but comfort or closeness at present." Hao replied nonchalantly.

"It was surprising, but Mari doesn't mind what Hao-sama or Yoh-sama does. As long as you're both happy, Mari is too." Mari stated softly.

"Yeah, we don't exactly follow society's rules anyway and it isn't like you two can mate, which is why the law was made, so who cares whether that is what you both want or not?" Kanna added.

_I can't see the reactions of anyone to know for sure but I can't feel any negativity in the air, so hopefully that means everyone is okay with this. I knew we were going to have to deal with this eventually but certainly not like that. I can't believe I was so stupid! How do you forget that quickly that it isn't just the two of you so acting like that is a no-no? Maybe 'everyone' is right; maybe I really am brain-dead…_

_I hope this really is okay and it isn't going to put any strain on our relationships. I can't see really that Mari or Kanna would have made those comments if they didn't mean them, they're too used to Hao knowing everything to consider lying to him, though I think they respect him more than to do something like that anyway._

_I'm not sure about Ren or Jun, or Macchi for that matter. Macchi is probably okay if the rest of Hanagumi are and she may well have nodded her agreement rather than make a comment of her own, since Mari and Kanna summed it up themselves and Hao did already say they'd be fine with it. It may have been the same for Ren and Jun I suppose, but Ren is being far too quiet for my liking, he's usually more open with his opinion of things._

_I'm not really ready to face them and find just yet though, staying here cuddled against Hao is far more appealing. I know it's a little childish and a little pathetic but for whatever reason, since things changed between us I just feel inclined to let him support and protect me. I'm not weak and I don't need him to do things like that for me but it does feel nice._

_I guess I'd better be careful that I don't really come to depend on him, it's an easy line to cross and I don't want to be a burden. Besides, this is all my doing, so I have to take some responsibility for it, I can't leave it to Hao or someone else. It isn't as though I'm happy with the idea of losing my strength or independence either, though I'm a long shot from any of that, it's just something I need to bear in mind._

"I'm surprised Jian hasn't come, though I guess maybe he can't." Yoh murmured.

"Of course the traitor can't come." Ren snapped.

"No, I don't think he wanted that to happen, it's just something he couldn't prevent. I don't think he's like them, he never judged me and my attachment to Hao never bothered him. I'm pretty sure this was forced on him."

"I hope you're right, he knows too much about all this." Jun stated softly.

"Daijobu datte, nantoka naru."

_I'm sure my initial opinion of him was accurate, as well as everything since. Jian hasn't been playing me all this time, he didn't mind about Hao and he wants to be a part of this. I don't understand what's changed, how they got him involved in this, though it was made clear enough that he knew what was going on. Still, he did seem sorry for it and I believe he is; he's a good man, I know he is._

_I don't think that he would offer any help that would result in anything bad happening to this place, no matter what they threatened him with. When it comes to someone's life work, they tend to be very protective of it. I guess he couldn't be sure how I would react or what the situation between Hao and myself would be, certainly I don't think anyone expected us to get so close as quickly as we have._

_My cuddling into him was a bad move to make, it convinced them that I'm too lost to be saved and need to be 'dealt' with as well. Ren and Jun may well have found themselves pulled into that category as well, given they've supported me from the start and didn't say anything against my behaviour. It's all insane and hypocritical and I really don't know that anything can be done to change that._

The portal fluctuated and everyone stood up, readying themselves for an attack. Lee Pailong stepping through was the last thing they had expected and the surprise continued when Amidamaru and all of Yoh's friends followed shortly afterwards. Maybe Yoh had been wrong he decided, maybe they didn't need to leave after all.


	17. Chapter 17

And here we are finally at the last chapter. Thank you for everyone who has reviewed (and may yet still), it's much appreciated. I hope you've enjoyed reading!

* * *

Amidamaru quickly glomping Yoh was all it took to lighten the mood and he was soon laughing and chatting with his friends. They had a lot to catch up on, and while it was obvious that they had all grown up and changed, it didn't take long for them to return to old habits.

Initially Hao and Hanagumi were ignored, the group more interested in their friends and having fun than dealing with the serious matters. They could wait until later, once the excitement had worn off. Yoh knew his brother and the girls wouldn't mind so he wasn't really concerned.

Jian stepped through the portal a while later and Yoh excused himself from the group to speak to him. Horo-Horo and Lee Pailong had quickly confirmed that they were there because of Jian, so Yoh was confident he was right and the fact that Jian was able to go through the portal confirmed it. Had he any ill-intent Yoh was sure he would have been repelled.

"I'm sorry Yoh." Jian said softly, bowing as he did.

Yoh smiled and shook his head. "It's okay; I knew you weren't happy with it. As long as you're okay and they don't know anything that can hurt us or this place then everything is fine. Thank you for getting my friends here, I was worried I was going to have to go out there again."

"Thank you Yoh. I had thought that would be the case, so inviting them on your behalf seemed like the best way I could make it up to you. I promise I haven't told them anything I know, so it should be okay."

"I appreciate it and it certainly makes things easier and less worrisome for me."

_So far so good, I wonder what will happen when Hao comes into the equation however, especially the current rather questionable relationship we have. I'm not particularly convinced that will go down very well at all. Unfortunately it's unavoidable, they're going to learn about it at some point in time, whether they can accept it or not._

_It will be strange for everyone and will take a while to get used to, especially given Hao and I don't even really know how we feel or what we want, but hopefully they'll be as accepting of things as Hanagumi. It would be a shame for so few of us to enjoy this place and a new start. We'll just have to see how things go I guess and deal with whatever comes._

After several hours Yoh looked over to Hao apologetically, his friends were still chattering merrily and weren't showing any signs of tiring of it. He hated Hao being ignored for so long and really wanted nothing more than to go and sit with him as he had earlier.

Hao smiled and shook his head and Yoh supposed he must understand his friend's need to talk to him so much. It still wasn't fair to exclude Hao and the girls, even if their inclusion would make things slightly less easy and relaxed. They would have to accept their presence eventually and Yoh wouldn't accept any less.

Ren nudged him slightly and motioned for him to go to his brother, presumably he would distract them for a while so Yoh could make sure the others weren't completely neglected, even if Hao maintained he didn't mind. If he was lucky they might eventually follow him over and include Hao and Hanagumi in the conversation as well.

"I said you needn't worry about it, didn't I?" Hao asked rhetorically when Yoh sat with him.

"Ren offered and I don't like you all being ignored. Besides, I want to be here." Yoh retorted playfully.

Hao smiled and wrapped an arm around Yoh, allowing the other to lean on him properly. Yoh gladly accepted the action and snuggled further into Hao. He didn't really understand why it felt so right to just be close like this, he knew their soul had been one and may well want to be one again, but he'd never heard of other twins being that way. It was quite possible that it was perfectly normal and it was just something that wasn't spoken about because they didn't understand and/or couldn't explain the bond they felt.

"Do you think they'll stay here as well?" Macchi asked suddenly.

Yoh shook his head. "I don't know; though if they're not going to accept you then I'm not sure they're welcome."

"Yoh-sama would choose us first?" Mari asked, tone both surprised and confused.

"You were here first, you're willing to accept anyone that Hao and I do and you want and need this world as much as we do. It wouldn't be fair to brush you aside, besides which, that would mean the same for Hao too and given so much of this was for him, I'm certainly not going to have the same problems repeat and risk us falling out."

Kanna smiled. "Hao-sama was right; you have changed and grown a lot, though you're still as soft and considerate as ever. You're definitely stronger and more determined than you were; it's an honour to be allowed here and to have your support after everything that's happened."

Yoh smiled, it was nice to hear such comments and support, he knew if nothing else that Hanagumi, as with Ren and Jun, would provide no problems for him. Jian should be fine with everything as well but his other friends were still an unknown quantity, as well as anyone else who came after, assuming anyone did.

He didn't really doubt that word would spread but without any input from them, most would probably be afraid of going there because of Hao. Of course he wasn't sure that anyone acting through fear or hatred was really what was wanted or even if they would be accepted but he didn't want people missing out if it was something they wanted and needed, just like Yoh and the others.

It was all out of his hands he supposed, he didn't want to leave and wasn't the least bit convinced that it was safe to do so and he didn't know that he could really do much to explain anyway. How was he supposed to spread word to everyone, with guarantees that Hao had changed and it was safe? One could only really pass on such information to the people known to them. Unless…

"Manta, can I ask you about something?" Yoh queried, calling all attention to him.

Manta nodded and walked over to Yoh, though it was clear he was uncomfortable going so close to Hao and Hanagumi. "What is it Yoh-kun?"

"Would it be possible to use the internet to post something about this place where shamans, well, anyone would be able to find it if they looked?"

"I should be able to do something like that for you. Just let me know what you want me to put. I might need to go back through to be able to connect though, I'm not sure that I'll get internet coverage on another planet, not that it's easy to believe we are on a completely different world."

Yoh nodded. "Arigato Manta, I think that's probably the best I can do under the circumstances."

The others wandered over, as weary as Manta, despite Yoh being completely relaxed and unconcerned, Ren snorted ad walked past them, sitting beside Hanagumi, Jun and Jian soon following suit. Yoh smiled gratefully at the attempt to put their concerns at ease, irrespective of whether it worked or not. It was all they could do, just to try and ease the fears that were no longer needed and to try to help people understand the situation and this place as best they could.

Amidamaru, Faust and Eliza were the first of the others to sit with them, which didn't surprise Yoh in the least. He knew Amidamaru trusted him and his judgement, just as Faust did and he supposed Faust inadvertently owed Hao, since Eliza was only with him as she was because of the Chou Senji Ryakketsu. Eventually the others joined them as well, though there was an uncomfortable silence.

Rolling his eyes again, Ren ignored the unease and engaged in a general conversation with Hanagumi, leaving it open for anyone to join in. The aforementioned accepting members took the offer and joined in, sharing their thoughts and opinions without concern. Eventually Horo-Horo found himself unable to not add his own comments and the others followed suit.

_It's taken them an hour of chatting with Hao and the girls before they've finally started to relax.__ I don't know whether to be understanding, annoyed or insulted. If Ren and I have no problems and aren't the least bit on-guard, surely that should be good enough? I guess Ren has grown up more than they have, though he was always more accepting, even with his concerns._

_Still, they've begun to accept and relax, so that's something. I can only hope that everything continues to go well, though I'm not convinced that we won't have problems again should Hao and I decide it definitely is a relationship we want. Whatever comes will come, it can't be helped and I'm not afraid. Those who can accept these changes and rise above them will hopefully find the happiness they desire._

_I know if nothing else, even if it is so few of us, that we will be happy and content. It may not flourish with human life here, there may not come another generation from those of us here but perhaps that's for the best. If human hands can only spoil and are always doomed to slip into bad habits and soil and destroy the land and nature then perhaps it is best to be left alone._

_The portal should remain even after my passing, so for those this world will accept, the gateway should always be open for them to come should they need. I don't like the idea of the wrong sort of people ending up here, which is probably ultimately going to occur if human life does flourish, one can never account for what souls may be born._

_Still, come what may, I've done the best I can and for the foreseeable future at least, this place should be a haven from the world in which we were all born and the societies that seem so set in it's destruction, even if they don't realize that is ultimately going to be the end result._

"You're thinking too much again, just relax." Hao muttered softly.

Yoh grinned. "I am allowed to think you know; I'm not as brain-dead as generally assumed."

Hao sighed melodramatically, though still quietly as to keep the conversation between the two of them. "I'm well aware of that, you are the other half of my soul after all."

"Don't worry; I'm not stressing myself out, just confirming my resolution in all this. I'm ready to accept all of this and whatever follows, no matter what. I know that this is what I want, that it's the right thing to do and I won't back down no matter what. I love you and I love this place and I will leave behind everything I have to in order to protect what matters most. I'm not afraid anymore."

"I love you too, no matter what, you'll always have me and I'll support and care for you forever."

Yoh smiled and joined his lips with Hao's, this time ignoring the gasps. They could accept them or not but this was the way things were going to be either way. He heard Ren mutter something along the lines of it being about time Yoh made his mind up but he wasn't really paying any attention to them. Being with Hao now and for the rest of their lives and perhaps eternity itself was all that really mattered.

Fin~


End file.
